Under the Stars
by Onceuponavirgo
Summary: Degrassi was having it's 150th celebration weekend and with that came parties, reunions and celebrations that could reunite some, break others and witness miracles. A decade has passed since two star-crossed lovers have set eyes on each other and there are things which need to be discussed, but will they be?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello Degrassi Students and Teachers, I just wanted to remind you of the upcoming weekend events for the sesquicentennial celebration of this fine school and neighborhood! I can't tell you how pleased I am with the committees contributions and you students with helping them to get this party on track. Before you do go here in a few minutes please pick up one of the fliers with all the events going on around the school from Thursday to Sunday. I would encourage you all to come and celebrate Your school and community. Since You have a few extra days off be safe out there and have a great weekend!_

The click of the intercom signaled the loud peal of the bell that indicated the students were now free to luxuriate in the long weekend where they could party while their parents were away with events at the school. As soon as the students began to empty the large building came the many people whom were going to transform some of the classrooms into mini time machines for each decade the school had been around. Clare sighed to herself as she quickly straightened up the room before locking her drawers up before the ladies came and shooed her away.

"Are you ready for the weekend Ms. Edwards?". Came a soft, but amused voice from the doorway awaking her from the reverie of her thoughts. Spinning on her heel to glance towards the voice she laughs lightly, sticking out her tongue with a little grin.

"Indeed I am... Well, I was a moment ago and now I'm more nervous than anything.". She said simply spreading her arms helplessly as she tried to keep a straight face towards her visitor.

"Clearly, you're such an actress. No wonder You teach English... So dramatic!". Marco exclaimed lightly.

Clare laughed softly as she turned off the lights and closed the door pushing her college into the hallway with a soft grin upon her face feeling slightly less nervous that previous moments. Sometimes it helped to have someone around whom could give her some precious amusing moments to get over her stress.

"So Mister Math, you're coming to the festivities I would assume?". She asked as her fingers gripped the handle of the door gently making sure it was closed before turning to glance at him.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world, Most of the class will be here with a few exceptions because of work, or they just don't want to bother coming back. What about you? I couldn't see you missing this... Will Darcy be around?". He asked with a little nudge to her side before laughing softly.

Nervously nodding her auburn locks towards Marco with a slight smile upon her pale lips, "Yes, of course I shall be there, wouldn't miss this train wreck for the world. As for Darce, She says she's going to be here but with her work schedule all wonky as it's been since she's taken over for that church...". She trails off with a slight shrug of her shoulders. Sometimes the best left unsaid about her sister, the better it was in her world. Since coming back from Africa she's been a totally different person than what she remembered as a young teen.

Sometimes it could have been easier to be an only child once her sister took off to Africa after her troubles, but in clare's mind it changed the whole family. Divorcing parents and then having them re-marry to others was daunting to her ego, and then to combine it with her own determination to keep a sense of fairy tale to her own life made it hard for her final years in school.

"...Did you hear what I said?". Marco asked slyly waking her from the track of thoughts deep in her mind. Glancing up at him with a slight shake of the head she sighed a negative response towards him.

"Easily remedied m'dear, I asked if your nervousness is because of someone special?". He repeated the question with a laugh knowing full well she was, but not because of why everyone believed. A decade was a long time to not see certain people, especially when you had a novel worth of words to say to someone.

She glanced towards her colleague with a mixture of speculation and sheer fear that she was either transparent, which she didn't believe at all, or that he knew far more than he ever said. Clare was beyond certain that Marco didn't know the full story, perhaps the local grapevine had mention most of the public strife that had went down. Somewhere deep in her heart the heaviest of the information remained tucked away until it needed to be released, if ever.

"No, You know full well that there isn't anyone like that in my life.". She spread her hands to wash away any idea such as that one. "I did however hear that someone has a date to said activities. La De Da! ". She said in a sing-song voice letting it echo down the almost empty hall now that the students had long gone to whatever they did after school. Pushing Marco to begin to walk down the hallway with her as she laughed seeing the light blush form against his cheeks.

"You are such a gossip queen Edwards...". He said softly laughing swinging his satchel with one arm as they came to the large glass double doors of the school watching as the decorating committee began to transform the lobby into a time machine. "Oh dear, I'm sort of scared that what this is going to turn out to be.". He mumbled as they pushed the doors open into the sunshine.

After assuring Marco that she would be there with bells on for most of the weekend she headed towards the only sanctuary that she truly relied on, her home. After her grandmother had passed leaving a small amount of money to her grand-daughters she bought it with what funds she had left after her education, giving her a place of her own. As soon as she stepped into the foyer the phone rang, as it by magic or at least someone knew the moment she came home. Adam, she thought with a sigh.

"Hello?". She answered tentatively.

"As if you didn't know who this was...". Came the reply causing her to erupt in soft giggles. "I did tell you when I was going to call you, but I'm willing to bet you just came in from work. So, before you speak I'll be there in about two hours. Be prepared to entertain me, or at least...".

"Feed You, yes. Hello to You too Clare. How was your day Clare? Oh, it was marvelous, just marvelous. Yours?". She intoned with a laugh as she cut off his words. Sometimes people never change, and one of them would be Adam.

"Marvelous, eh? You must have made a student cry then. Sadistic wench that You are. My day was filled with ease, since I took the day off along with the rest of the weekend. Travel is never one of my favorite thing to do, and I'm sitting here waiting for the plane to leave.. Oh, one moment...". He mumbled softly as someone began to speak to him in the background leaving her to try to listen in to hear who it was. It could be tantamount as to spying in her mind, but being as it was Adam sometimes his life was much more interesting that her own.

"Yeah... No, I get it. Let me just finish with this call to her.". He mumbled softly. "I wouldn't tell her anything as if I was.. No, and it was Your choice to come back. ".

She frowned as she caught that snatch of the conversation wondering whom he would be speaking to so in such a manner. As a sports agent he sometimes had to be a bit cunning, and sneaky but when not dealing with work he was generally a laid back guy, but this spoke of personal annoyances, but she kept silent as he waited for him to finish.

"You know whom I speaking to, don't play it off like You don't. Plenty of time for that this weekend. Now, let me finish with this conversation and then we can get on the plane. Alright?". He said more softly as a soft mumble came through to her side.

"Alright, I'll just...". The voice trailed off but loud enough for her to have heard it. Just those three words seized her heart in a fear that hadn't been felt for more than a decade. Elijah. Oh shit, she thought quickly raking her fingers into her curls as she sank into one of her chairs. It was as if a rocket had gone off in her head just with the thought of having to see him again. The seventeen year old in her began to nervously surface bringing the pain of the past back up before she could shove it back down into the vault that was her heart.

"...Clare?". A voice floated back towards her ear from the other side of the receiver causing her to jump and shake her head quickly away from the fog of thoughts within her.

"Wha.. Oh.. Sorry about that, I happened to look out the window watching the neighbors as You were speaking to someone. Everything okay?". She hoped her voice was normal as she covered her racing thoughts quickly.

A sigh came from the other side of the phone, one she knew very well when Adam figured something out from her. In all the years they had known each other, he was the one it was hard to hide any emotion she had. Sometimes it made it easier to speak to him because he was her best friend, but now it wasn't.

"Look, I just wanted to make sure You were home so that I'm not surprised when I come back later to see You. The plane's about ready to take off, so I need to get off here but we will speak later.". He promised as he made his quick good byes and hung the phone up after she made her own to him.

"She heard Your voice". His friend began as he settled across from him in the small jet that was waiting to take them to Toronto for this weekend. Nervously he smiled towards his best friend with what he could call a blank, 'who me' look before turning to glance out at the airfield with a smirk.

"Yeah, maybe she did indeed hear my voice. I can't be the judge of that but what should that matter because I am allowed to come back MY school and enjoy myself. I wasn't the one who walked out of the relationship. She did, and I shouldn't have to remind you of that little fact do I? Do I?". Eli asked with a growl upon his lips. Sometimes he had to remind people that everything wasn't his fault when it came to choices in his life.

"No, but...". Adam began to speak, but was cut off quickly as Eli began to speak again, "There, end of story. I can only hope that we can all have a good weekend without any bloodshed.". Eli arched a brow towards Adam with a smirk wanting to end the conversation as the plane began to move on the runway.

Eli really hadn't told Adam the true reason why he was so willing to go along for this weekend. He knew that if he had told the true reason that Adam may have warned certain people about his plan. It wasn't his intention to hurt anyone in the next few days, but if certain people got in his way again then the cards were off the table.

"All I can ask of You is to not hurt her in any way.". Adam spoke softly towards his friend with a convection that caused Eli to laugh loudly.

"I can't promise anything, but once I get the full truth out of the one person I've come to speak to then She'll be the last one that I want to hurt. I'm not a monster am I? Sure, the press like to believe I'm some weird guy who writes horror for a living but, surely You know better.". Eli eyed Adam with a questioning look.

Eli didn't need Adam to answer because deep in his heart lied the truth as to what went down that night so many years ago that two young people pulled away from each other. Since that night there was something missing from each of the two people that Adam loved the most in the world and he was going to be the one to help them.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Clare's POV**_

The music flowed throughout her house as she began to clean it up a little before her visitors would begin to arrive for some supper to celebrate the upcoming weekend. While the music was supposed to soothe both her temper and nerves it only brought her some anxiety as she reviewed the phone call in her mind over and over again. That one voice that had always brought her to the brink as a teenager, sometimes even over it when things got tough. Her Eli. No, wait he wasn't hers anymore, he chose to break it off once he left Toronto and went off to school leaving her alone. It completely destroyed her for almost a year when out of the blue he chose to email her some silly note about how they had grown apart and then when she tried to call him there was no answer. No matter how much time had passed she knew that even just hearing that voice brought her to her knees.

"Stop it Clare, Dammit". She muttered to herself as her eyes flickered towards the window out past the road waiting to see if he'd come with Adam to visit her. Somehow she thought he wouldn't. Sure, she watched from afar his hits and misses in the literary world where she wasn't surprised he rose so high. He was after all, very talented. Wait, what? She was still surprised that she was this way about him after all this time, and space. Yet, here she was.

Somehow she hoped that the weekend would go off with a bang, and there were already fireworks, and this wasn't even her doing or her business. She had overheard some of workers speaking about some the alumni that would be playing here during the big dance on Saturday night, apparently some of them were from classes a few years before her and some other names she remembered dearly. Sighing softly as she glanced towards the clock checking it for the thousandth time in a span of minutes making her fragile nerves already overwhelmed.

"". A voice wafted in from the front door as she woke from her reverie staring at her closet trying to change into something comfortable for the evening as she knew several people would be stopping by to visit. Sighing softly as she hurried from her room to see the one person she wasn't sure would be showing up, Darcy.

"Sister dear, I took the weekend off and decided to come up and celebrate. Don't worry, I booked a room for myself, I know how you love your space and I'm sure some of your friends will be here taking up the extra rooms. Smart of you to get a three bedroom when you did.". Darcy winked and settled into one of the chairs in the living room as she smiled up at her younger sister.

"You could have stayed here, Plenty of room.". She mummered before holding up on hand and disappearing into the kitchen to quickly pour some wine for the both of them remembering her sisters penchant for the wine she bought. Entering back into the living room she noticed how tired Darcy looked for a moment before she smiled reaching for the wine.

"ah, You are a life saver. Then again, you always were as a child.". Darcy said quietly quaffing half of the class as she sat back quietly humming to herself as her eyes slid to watch Clare. Something was up in the nervous way she was holding the glass far to tightly to be relaxed and comfortable for her taste.

"I tried my best." She said softly smiling as she settled next to her sister with a little laugh trying to hide the butterflies that continued to rise against the confines of her chest. The claret slid down her throat as she sipped thinking about the last time she was a lifesaver and how much it cost her to be one, but she'd never admit to anything or anyone.

"Psh, little sis what is going on. Your either nervous because I'm here but somehow I don't think it's the case since I kinda just showed up or someone is going to be jumping out of your closet here and it's gonna surprise me." Darcy tapped her sister's nose lightly as one shapely brow arched in question.

Shaking her head quickly at the suggestion that she was hiding someone in her closet much like she had back in high school when her mother would go to see was preposterous. Even if it was hilarious at the time, and somewhat dangerous if she had even been caught by Helen. Luckily, in her favor, she was never caught and Eli got away every time. However, she always had sneaking suspicions that her mother had to have heard them talking sometimes or perhaps she trusted her daughter.

"Alas, no men hiding in the closet here even if I wished I had someone waiting for me when I came home each day. Nope, Just a little nervous about the whole weekend, you know? There are a few people whom I've not seen in close to a decade or longer with some of the other classes before me. Also, with finals coming up I've been trying to get my classes ramped up for the end of the year. Summer can't come soon enough and I'll be out on a road trip to New York to visit a few friends.".

"Oooh". Darcy laughed as she sipped more of the red wine with a little grin towards her sister. "Nice, road trips are good. But, uh, When was the last time you were on a date? Not that I'm trying to pressure you or anything since I know Mom's probably always on you about settling down. I speak from experience having to hear about it weekly. However, I will have some news for her this week that she may find most pleasing. I, uh, ran into Peter a while back and we've been on a few dates and I remember now why I always liked him.". Her sister smiled sheepishly down at the carpet blushing slightly at her confession.

Before she could respond there was a knock at the door causing her to shake her head slightly at Darcy before heading to the door, "This isn't finished You know,". She said to her sister as her fingers slid around the handle of the door pulling it open to a smiling Adam standing there on the porch with a bottle of wine and an unsmiling Eli. "Suprise!". Adam yelled softly.

_**Eli's POV**_

Time had treated her very well, then again it's not like they were in their elderly stage or anything, he thought to himself as she stood in the doorway with a wine glass in her hand smiling at Adam before even seeing that he was with him. Shifting slightly as her eyes passed over his before friend before stopping to watch him with a curious look.

"Suprise!". Adam Yelled causing Clare to laugh softly as she rushed into Adam's arms giving him a hug of greetings.

"Why didn't you tell me what time You were going to be here? I had thought it was going to be a few more hours before you got here. Either way, welcome... Welcome.". She said softly not even bothering to hide the fact she was speaking to Eli.

"Edwards.". Was all Eli could say trying very hard to not have an edge to his first words to the girl whom he loved since he was sixteen but had been hurt so much that it was painful to even say it. Blue eyes darkened quickly in the way they always did for him when he said something she liked causing him to internally wince in confusion.

"Goldsworthy,". She responded gently with what he could only regard as a half smile, something similar to his own smirk that he would give as a teenager that had mellowed out into something he couldn't even fathom. The familiar cinnamon curls that had once entranced him were now hidden in a knot that made her look more severe than she was, he knew.

As he stared at her, he knew they were speaking quietly to themselves and him but as soon as he began to look around he tuned them out completely looking at the world that she built for herself.

"Earth to Eli, Earth to Eli...". Sang Adam waving one hand in front of his face slowly as he tuned back into the two speaking to themselves.

"Why won't you both come in, granted I hadn't expected You to be here Eli but You are welcome none the less.". He heard Clare's soft voice call out as she stepped aside to admit them into her home.

His eyes followed her every moment watching as she smiled motioning them into the living room. He hadn't expected this, and it bothered him greatly after all these years but this was why he was here. Closure, you may call it but to him it was more that he needed something to move on and give himself the chance to find someone and while there was this nagging moment of rage or regret in him it was impossible. Also, to get Cece off his case about giving her some grandchildren as well, which he knew she would love greatly.

"Darcy!". Adam exclaimed seeing the woman sitting on one of the chairs before him and laughed as she smiled and glances up with a little wink.

It still amazed him even after meeting Darcy when she came back from Africa that these two were sisters. While Clare was sweetness her sister was more tart that he would have imagined, but then again after all that had gone on with the girl it wasn't a stretch that she had an edge to her. Even with that she regarded him with suspicion after hearing the gossip about her younger sister's relationship with him. He watched as she glanced up at him quickly before her eyes slid to see the reaction of Clare. Whatever she seen caused her to relax slightly, perhaps not fully as it was her style to not open the wall that was around her fully, but it was a start.

"Adam, You sly dog you!". Darcy responded with a laugh and a smile. "Clare didn't mention you were on the visiting list."

"I hadn't had much time to say anything to you Darce, but yep he's one of the few who will either be staying here, or visiting. Alli was going to be as well, but as it stands she's going to be.. ah, staying elsewhere.". Clare countered with a grin of her own hearing Adam's groan.

"Johnny?". Adam asked softly, one brow arching slightly as Clare nodded not really wanting to elaborate on the whole story. Adam nodded slightly as she dropped next to Darcy hugging her with one arm as she returned the motion.

"Holy Shit, Demarco?". Darcy asked with a snort of laughter remembering the punk and his cohorts who stormed the school one year after their own school burned after a few stressful months before she left.

He watched as Clare turned to look at him with a smile that almost dropped him in his tracks. Blue eyes twinkled with a warmth that really did addle his senses as much today as it did the day they met on the school parking lot. Sweeping her hand to one of the other chairs she nodded as she sat down close to her sister and waited for him to follow suit.

"Please have a seat Eli," She suggested as he followed suit quietly still not finding the nerve to speak without making a full of himself. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were going to be with Adam but please be welcome and uh...". She shifted in the seat uncomfortably for a moment as if finding the courage to complete her words. "If You need a place to stay you are welcome to stay here.".

The smirk formed along his lips as he listened to her, hearing the nervousness that exuded from her pores gave him back a little spark that had been missing since those blue eyes focused on his being. Perhaps this has been right, this coming here and facing all the demons that had plagued him for so long.

"Edwards, You sound nervous. Am I making You nervous?". He drawled slowly, green eyes widening as they settled against the blue of hers, watching like a hawk.

"Eli, No you're not making me nervous but color me astounded that You came back for this, I mean I thought you weren't into any of this anymore. I know You didn't go to the reunion last years. So I assumed that attendance this time would be a definite no. Perhaps... Perhaps I shouldn't have assumed after all.". She sheepishly smiled lowering her gaze as the first blush formed along her pale cheeks.

Adam glanced at him with wide eyes and he knew what that was about. It wasn't the right time to dredge up anything, especially with Darcy there. He nodded quickly and sighed trying to find the correct words to give without starting an argument that would erupt knowing the audience before him.

"Actually, it wasn't so much that I didn't want to come last year. It was more that the tour was both taking a lot out of me and the weekend it was scheduled on had me in New Orleans, at a conference which I couldn't back out of... even if I wanted to". He muttered with a frown remembering some of the crazy fan women out there who almost chased him down to get his autograph. Sometimes it boggled his mind that there were fans out there like that, or more that people wanted his autograph. Either way the whole fan world boggled his ego, but strangely enough it bolstered it to know that there were people out there who wanted him to create these worlds they loved.

"Oh yes, You write books don't you?". Darcy inquired quickly. He glanced her way almost forgetting she was one of the four in the room

He was about to answer before another voice calmly began to speak, "His books aren't merely books Darce, but yes He's an author. A very GOOD author". Clare said with such reverence he almost smiled, but he stopped and listened. "In fact, I suspect He may be better than a certain writer in Maine.". She grinned impishly towards Eli that he did laugh.

"Fair praise from someone that could have been a great author, oh wait, is an author but chose to publish under another name. Right, Clare?". He said lazily as the other two in the room jumped up with a gasp causing her to sigh and lower her gaze.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Clare's Pov**_

She honestly didn't know how she survived that evening without either losing her mind, or choking Eli but somehow it went off without a hitch and her heart was intact. He chose to stay there with them even having plenty of money to have gone to a hotel nearby, and that was okay as far as she was concerned. Her sister however had pulled her aside before she went off to find Peter to ask if it was going to be workable with there being so much tension, and also to ask about the book. That was a topic she was going to not discuss until she spoke with Eli alone. If she got that chance however, but as soon as the thought processed in her brain the chance came up after Adam had to run to his mother's for something she requested.

The music was still flowing throughout her house as she slipped into the backyard to relax after such a tense few hours. His proximity wasn't the cause for the tension, mainly her overblown emotions were working overtime. She was back being the unsure sixteen year old again, unsure of anything when he would just look at her and that really did begin to bother her mostly because it took a lot to recover as an eighteen year old from heartbreak.

"May I intrude on your reverie for a few moments?". A voice interrupted the train of her thoughts as she glanced up to see the very many she had been brooding about in front of her, glass of wine in his hands and a confused look upon his face. She swept her hand towards one of the chairs she had in the small area and sighed deeply, brushing back her now long hair that had been freed from it's confines.

"By all means". She replied softly, unsure what else she could begin to say to him. Her eyes followed him to the chair he chose across from her and watched as he settled himself quickly. The years had been good to him she thought quickly seeing not an ounce of fat anywhere, but she always knew he would never have that problem. His hair was still a little too long for conventional circles, but it was always one of the things she loved about him. Clothing was another thing to have changed slightly, not the all black clad youth, but now he added some small bits of color to throw off that somber air that sometimes followed him. She wanted to ask questions to him but somehow her voice failed her.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay here, I suppose I could have went to a hotel and not have bothered but Adam, being Adam... Well You know how he is. I'm sorry if it's put you out or anything. I wasn't sure how many were staying here and all. If you tell me that it's going to cause any problems I'll call a hotel.".

She tilted her head as he began to speak quickly as she heard the faltering in his speech and wondered what was going on deep in the recesses of his brain to even possibly be nervous.

"Eli, it's not a problem in the least to offer You my other guest room. In fact, Adam was going to be the only one whom would be staying here. I offered it to others but as some of them have children that were going to be attending it wasn't going to work out. So, you are welcome to the room. Alli was going to be staying here but as it is she decided on a hotel room, which in some terms is best especially if she's going to have a boyfriend". She stopped and chuckled softly remembering freshman year and the ravine but didn't mention it out-loud. "There aren't many whom I'm still that connected from the class.. I mean there are still some around here that I see but as they are local there is no need to have them stay here.". She finished with a nod as her eyes locked with his.

She watched as he nodded back at her sipping the wine in his glass. Sliding her eyes towards his fingers to see if there was a trace of a ring or anything to say that he was affianced since he kept his life as private as he could. Not that she really did many searches on him or anything, or she wouldn't admit that to anyone but herself.

"...Why did you leave me with just a damn email?". She only caught the end of the question as she glanced up quickly, eyes wide as she began to tune into the question. "A damn email, not even a call or heaven forbid a face-to-face conversation. Here I thought were both were much more than that but no, I get an email that You decided that since both of us were so far away and...".

"Wait, What?". She exhaled quickly as she jumped up from the seat to look down at him with a frown. Where did this come from? Confusion began to form in her brain as she waited to hear his explanation.

"Don't play me Clare, I don't think I could deal with this if your going to look at me like I've grown three heads and am a monster. Let's see it was after You came to visit me and while I can say that the visit was a disaster with my internship having to take up most of the time but I tried to carve time out for you. I thought...". He stood up himself and began to pace as he spoke, trying to count all the things he wanted to say and she could tell he was working himself into a rage but she was still confused as to what he was even going on about. An email?

"Eli, stop. I remember it quite well, the trip and I didn't in the least blame you for the lack of time that we had planned to spend there together. I had others whom spent time with me that made up for the fact You were doing what you had to for the future and I was genuinely proud for you to achieve your dreams. However, I'm not sure I follow about an email that You believe I sent to you. Pray tell me what Your talking about?". She said calmly crossing her arms in a defensive pose as one brow arched in question towards Him.

"It would have been the day after you came home, I remember that it was a late flight so we were going to speak after you got some sleep and then I wake up in the morning to check email and there is was. I can still remember it clearly even after a decade. You thought, in the email, that since we got to spend so little time and you thought that perhaps it was time we gave it some separation. In fact it was a good idea where we could focus on our own pursuits. It ended with you telling me to not to call because as far as you were concerned you had made up your mind about this all.". He glanced up at her with a look of disdain and revulsion that caused her to step back several steps before she caught her own breath.

"You actually believed that I would ever do something like that? I'm trying to let this all sink in. So, let me guess this straight, I sent an email.. didn't try to even talk to you about my concerns before I left or even call to voice them and you just took it at face value? Makes sense to me, given all the turmoil that we went through together...". She trailed off with a frown, not sure she could put her words together anymore.

_**Eli's Pov **_

Clare's words hit him like a ton of bricks that he had never expected to come out of her after the years of separation. Raking his fingers through the heavy mass of hair he sighed deeply, trying to focus on her face. Blue eyes clear and full of tears glanced back at him with a look he regretted.

"I tried to call You after I read it but you didn't answer for several days and then one of my friends had said that you were commenting much like the email to them when they spoke to you...". He muttered softly.

"Had to tried to call my home or got a hold of Adam would you have found that one, I lost my phone in the airport or somewhere around there when my purse got stolen. Secondly, When I got home mom was waiting for me... my grandmother had been seriously sick and I didn't want to worry you. I mean, she got better and all but I didn't have time and while I should have tried to call you. Now it makes more sense to me, once I did get back and tried to call you the number was different and you never responded to any emails... No one would tell me what was going on and for a while there Adam didn't speak to me but after a while we did start speaking again but never about you. I thought You had another episode and...". She trailed off slowly leaving it said undone for the moment. 'What friend of Yours would have ever said that I discussed our relationship with them? You know how I like to keep my life, well at the time our lives to us. Who?". She growled in anger now knowing someone chose to hurt them both, even if it was meant to just hurt her it became an issue for both of them it seemed.

He stared at her silently as her words began to sink into the thick exterior of his brain like a bomb. He was young at the time this went on, sure, but at the time he was terrified that he had finally suffocated her with his ways. If it had been at the age he was now, this would have ended much differently with him showing up at her door to demand her words but he couldn't have left New York at the time with school, interning and the local play he was in but that had been the biggest mistake.

"Imogen". A voice from the shadows of the yard called out as Adam stepped into the light of the windows. "It was Imogen.". He said with a nod glancing between his two friends with a sigh. As soon as he pulled back up from his errand and heard voices from the backyard he listened wanting to know the full story from both sides. He knew whom it was once Eli began to speak having heard her brag to someone once about how she finally got him to herself. Had she known it wouldn't last but a few weeks after he learned how she manipulated things for her own good.

The men watched Clare as she stood up again gently smoothing down the fabric of her pink shorts as if they were a delicate skirt. Only her soft sighs could be heard as she turned to look at Adam with only the briefest of nods to acknowledge his words, which caused him more anxiety but he chose to stay silent. She turned to look at Eli and he caught the pure heartbreak that he found in her eyes.

"I can only imagine how either of you would either believe that I could speak to her about ANYTHING. She was a cause for concern back the first time we broke up Eli and I never truly trusted her again, even if you did. I guess you did trust her to believe those words and didn't bother to have any trust for me. So now I'll tell you that I never would have left you for anything, even if we didn't get to spend much time together because we both were busy. I would have waited forever for you, you know. I told you back on that winter night I was all in. ALL IN.". She screamed loudly at him, tears beginning to fall down her lashes onto the pale skin of her cheeks. "You... you know I even had plans for us... and when I couldn't get a hold of you and Adam just refused to speak to me it almost broke me.".

In that moment he believed her and should have believed in her years before and had got on a plane to shake some sense to her yet he didn't and this was the consequences of that choice years later. Jumping to his feet he crossed the space between them before she could react and pressed her head to his chest as he whispered towards her ear, "I should have believed in you. I'm sorry...". He kept whispering as she began to cry even harder than before, feeling her arms wrap around him not even bothering to fight against him to be let go. His eyes sought out Adam as he quietly slipped into the house to give them a moment together.

She pulled away from him after several minutes of crying and sighed desperately the wheels in her head turning in thought as she frowned.

"It's still distressing to me that someone would be as vengeful as she was to perpetrate something so vile against me and you. Let's forget me for a moment because while it was for you to think I did this, she was aiming for you. Oh, this weekend is lovely now... on top of all the events I get to finally confront that bitch about how she fucked up my life.". She growled missing the look of wonder on his face as she began to curse, something she never did when they were together even if she was upset.

He began to laugh loudly as she fumed mumbling to herself at what she was going to say to that woman if she showed up here this weekend. He wasn't sure if she was going to or not because he no longer really had contact with her.

"Why are you laughing?'. She demanded haughtily up at him with a scowl upon her lips.

"You are a regular sailor Edwards, some of those words I hadn't even thought would come out of your mouth. Grown up, I see.". He said with a smirk upon his lips that hadn't felt at home till this moment when his heart began to believe that there was a spark left, even if it was just of friendship with this girl that he'd loved since he was sixteen.

When she swatted him peevishly she sighed wiping off the tears that were still clinging to her cheeks and began to shake those cinnamon tresses that used to enrapture his eyes.

"I will tell you this once and for all that I had nothing to do with an email nor did I mention to your "friend" that I wanted to go our separate ways Eli. As for earlier, that book was a way for me to get over all the hurt left behind after I had thought you walked away and then the gossip I began to hear from New York after your first book was picked up and the plays were doing well. It broke what little hope I had left in me, imagining our life together. We would have been... Well that's water under the bridge and maybe this will help us both move on now?". She spoke carefully trying hard to not hold any hope in her words, but he heard them loud and clear. This was his Clare after all, even after all the years apart he could read he better than anyone.


	4. Chapter 4

_**The next day...**_

_**Clare's Pov**_

The light streamed through the window into her bedroom waking her as it did most mornings but today she didn't stir as quickly would be a normal weekday. Groaning as her lithe frame stretched languidly along the length of the bed with a soft yawn remembering the conversation last night out in the back yard brought her crashing back down to earth. All these years had taught her that sometimes the truth can be construed to ones own ideas and after listening to the story last night, she believed it with all her heart. To have someone interfere with her life enraged her to the point where it may be safer if Imogen decides to not attend may be a point in her favor. Images come now unbidden into her head of the what if's that could be right now had she been able to live her life the way she planned.

"No sense in hashing those imagines Clare m'dear. You've moved on with your life...". She whispered to herself as she slid from between the warmed sheets into the chilly room with a yawn. Pulling the window open slightly hearing the birds begin their songs usually made her mornings before having to leave to teach the next generation but today it was just lovely to watch their antics. Perhaps she was trying to hold off going out into the rest of the house and running into those she was hoping to avoid for at least a little while longer as she evaluated what happened last night.

She knew that this idyll in the bedroom wouldn't last long at all because eventually there would be a time that she had to face the music and the situation. However, she would give herself and him some time by getting ready for the days events as they were. Quickly pulling from the closet the sundress she chose several weeks ago to compliment the low-key events that would kick off the celebrations. The soft blue fabric of the dress had caught her eye weeks back reminding her of a spring morning much like today as she finally smiled for the first time in the day remind her that she needed to get a move on.

After almost an hour she emerged refreshed from the emotionally exhausting night behind her with a little smile upon her lips. "Here goes nothing kid". Steeling herself with an exhale she pulled open the door to face her visitors and whatever else was thrown her way today.

Silence greeted her upon dragging herself from self-seclusion to an empty house she was sure of, not two men off sleeping the day away and was found to be correct seeing a small but well written paper on the breakfast island with her name on it.

_Clare,_

_I wanted to be here when you awoke to finish our conversation that we DO need to finish, and we will. However, Adam and myself had some things that we had already planned for the morning so we won't be in your hair at least for today. I would like to take you to dinner tonight, if you are of the mind to grant me that much and I promise no more yelling or accusations. We should be at the school sometime today I believe, unless Adam has me doing more than I was aware of. I also have a book signing as well. No rest for the wicked. I cleaned up after everyone so you wouldn't have to see how messy us guys can be!_

_Eli_

Clare wasn't sure she was ready to have that conversation that he wanted to have yet, mainly because her emotions were still not under control having to process the whole story. The fact that he really believed that she would give up on them so easily created so much doubt in her mind that it's going to be hard to have faith again, if she could.

…...

As she pulled into the parking lot of the school her eyes were deceiving her she believed as the decorations came into view. The festooned steps were living yearbooks as large pictures of graduating classes from every decade were placed for everyone to see.

"Oh goodness, did they really have to do that?". Whined a voice from behind her as she turned to see a tall blond who was at the moment pushing a stroller as she herded two other children forward as they tried to hit each other. Clare narrowed her eyes in thought for a moment before remembering who it was before her quickly as she smiled and waved a greeting.

"Little Edwards, I thought that was you. Can you believe some of this stuff, it's kind of embarrassing but I suppose it's not that bad for those who don't have embarrassing pictures in the yearbooks.". Emma called out before she swatted the two boys scuffling close to her.

"If you two don't stop you'll be spending your afternoon in the trunk.". She growled before turning back to Clare with a grin. "Don't worry, I won't put them in there. I'll just lock them in the boiler room. I still have a key I think somewhere.". She chuckled as she glanced down at the baby in the stroller with a sigh.

"Emma Mason, or do you go by your maiden name? Sometimes I can't keep up with people to remember.". She grinned back at the blonde with a wink as the boys calmed and stood by eying their mother wearily.

"Mason, It was far too confusing if I had to explain it with the boys when they were younger. So, How are you doing Clare? Dad tells me you love working here, can't imagine why you'd want to come back to the jail after being released?". She teased quickly winking as she rocked the stroller back and forth gently for the sleeping toddler.

"I don't think I wanted to be anywhere else really once I graduated college I wanted to come back to where I knew. Your father was one of my influences, so I guess it was a pay it forward kind of thing." She said sheepishly with a grin as she boys went running past the two ladies as a middle aged man stepped from the glass doors into the bright sunlight. After hearing the screams of grandpa she knew it was Mr. Simpson come to

head the boys for his daughter.

She said by to Emma as she walked across the parking lot pushing the stroller as she yelled for the two boys to behave else they were going to be going home and cleaning the floors with a toothbrush. Clearly they didn't believe her for a second as they crowded their grandfather. It made Clare's heart a little happier to see some happiness around her even if it wasn't hers to keep.

"Ah, and there she is finally getting her lazy ass out of bed to come help those whom needed it, yes it's selfish Edwards. Two hours late, tsk tsk,". Someone yelled from the entrance of the school causing her to look up quickly and laugh at Marco as he waved to her with a wink.

"You, shut it". She said sheepishly as she ascended the steps to kick at him playfully before they both entered the foyer of the school. Her eyes widened at the sheer display before her baring the decades of change within one community. "Oh dear, they went a little overboard on this whole thing didn't they?". She commented glancing at the festooned boards before her with names that she vaguely recalled from other educators.

"It could be worse, but it's not bad really. Think of it like this, there will be many people here this weekend who will want to see this because they have been away from school for a long time and this..". He tapped the pegboard with a listing of the rooms. "beauty and be happy. My parents are two whom are geared up for the festivities. Me, not so much.". He laughed lightly as her arm linked with his automatically. He smiled down at here with a wink as a giggle could be heard from her.

"So, where is the other half hiding because I think you said yesterday that he would be here with bells on?". She mummered softly glancing at him with lowered lashes. She heard him laugh again as his patter her hand gently.

"He's around here somewhere one of the teachers pulled him into the sports room. He loves it you know, someone fawning over him about his past." He said airily, smiling at Clare. "Enough about Dylan and His overeager fans and more about you miss. I spoke to a certain sister last night and she told me about your house visitors. Want to inform me on what's up with that.".

She quickly began the story about speaking to Adam on the phone and realizing something, and someone else was with him. She did note his frown as she got into the meat of the whole story and how much it affected her to see the concern in his eyes for her own well being. As her story came to the end where they spoke during the evening he began to pat her arm in support not wanting to interrupt her as she finished.

"Imogen hmmm... Always was a strange girl and now she's just devious.". He muttered angrily as she shook her head with a small smile.

"I'm of the mind that I will not let her ever know how much she hurt me, and my happiness because if I brought it up now she would win. I made that clear to Him and I'm going to make it clear to everyone that she's not going to be allowed that victory. Besides, one would hope she's moved on since then.". She said to him with an arch of the brow. She knew Imogen would be here this weekend because she would take any opportunity to one over someone if she could. The girl was vindictive in high school and she doubted that was something that would change as an adult. She only hoped that she would be able to avoid that if at all possible.

They walked into the classroom that was assigned to a few others as they glanced around with a laugh, she slid her gaze to the photos that were settled on the board along the room with a grin. She turned to Marco with a frown, "This is a nightmare, I have to man the Arts and Drama room? Really?". She sulked with a fake pout.

"It could be worse, you could be in the science room.". Alli called out as she rushed into the room squealing loudly as her arms wrapped about clare. The tiny woman giggled loudly as clare squealed out at the surprise. She couldn't stay to talk because there was something she needed to set up for her little talk with whomever came into the room and promised to speak to her best friend later that day. Once she left Marco arched a brow and laughs commenting on just how much women liked to prattle about with each other. Clare scoffed at that and began to set up the things the volunteers left for them.

"How'd You get roped into this room... I mean I didn't think you were into Arts and Drama?". She asked him quietly as they both moved about putting some of the decorations up on the whiteboard. Her fingertips brushed against one picture of that play her sophomore year, the one play that really didn't go off.

"Ah, Well little Edwards, I'll have you know that I was in some of the productions here before you graced the school and I wanted to work with you because let's face it. It was going to be you, or I was going to have to be in a room with Alli squealing and as much fun as that is...". He trailed off with a laugh.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

The last book was signed as he sighed and glanced towards the clock seeing the time was getting later in the morning that he would have liked, but the fans were what drove him lately and there was no way he would stiff them. He did note his manager was motioning to him to wrap it up and that made his day.

"...thank you for signing this.". Came a soft, small voice that stood before him with a large smile clutching his book in her hands. His eyes looked up and focused on the girl standing there excitedly pointing to some people standing off to the side.

"You old enough to enjoy my books Miss?" He smirked at the girl as she nodded her head with a laugh. She moved on as he stood and motioned to the manager to start the closing process as he sighed rubbing his already tired eyes. He still was not used to having to do these promotional tours that came with a new book. In the past he fought to not have to deal with what came with each masterpiece he delivered to those whom wanted to read his words, but the new house promoting him had put it's foot down. So he capitulated and went out to see the fans whom chose to spend their hard earned money on what he did for a living. It wasn't hard for him to put pen to paper, but it was hard sometimes to understand why they chose to love it.

His thoughts kept moving back to last night and the conversation that occurred in the small backyard of Clare's. Her admission that she didn't write the email that crashed his heart was still a new wound that confounded him greatly, and now he had to find out the absolute truth. It wasn't hard to believe Clare because he always knew she wouldn't hide behind her computer when it came to emotions and then to have someone specifically tell him that he heard her say it coupled on the fact he was busy at the time made it easier than to try to fight, when he should have fought. Even if she wouldn't try to uncover the truth he would and was going to once he ran into the one person would could answer it.

It was good to see her again, that much was true to both his heart and head which at times were two different entities living on levels opposite of each other. He could cite one instance where he knew it was true, Imogen. After telling him what she heard he began to trust her and let her into his life, mistakenly he believed she cared. While, she may have cared a little it was obvious that she was there to ride on his coattails till she had a name for herself. Luckily, he found out quickly enough to shake her off him and they were friends ever since, but now there were words that needed to be found out and it was going to be painful for both of them it seemed.

Clare. The word still made him shiver in anticipation and fear. She was the ghost in him for many years after the split, either egging him on or cautioning him to not do something and it bothered him that she was delegated to that level even after they weren't together. The mere whiff of lavender brought him back to that twenty year old boy who felt his world crumble anytime he imagined a world without her. The novels he wrote early on were reminiscent of things they would talk about after movies they watched, or stories they read and it kept him going. He was aware of the critics and what they thought of the dark novels that burst forth from his imagination and he didn't care one whit what they believed.

"Eli, Thank You so much for doing this signing today. It was very well for the bookstore and for us as well. Just remember to be in Vancouver next weekend for the next one since your taking some time off for this weekend. You want some of the books to take to the school?" His manager Jillian asked him quietly as he gathered his items before beginning to leave.

"I have a few already signed and ready to go, one of the committee members asked if they could raffle a few of them off and since it goes to the community I agreed. But, thank you anyway Jillian. I have to scramble to get there for the opening. I'll give you a call about next weekend probably on Wednesday or Thursday, okay?". He asked her quietly as she nodded without a word freeing him to make his way to the door.

…...

His breath just about stopped as he stepped into the school after being gone for thirteen years from this place of imaginable highs and terrifying lows in his teenage years. For what it was worth he had more good times in the hallways and classrooms than the bad times but each memory was still there to this day instilling in him caution as well as gladness. It wasn't that he was sad to be back per say he was worried whom he would run into.

"Eli,". Adam called out from across the foyer as he stood with several people he instantly recognized.

"How did the signing go?" His friend asked as he came over quickly nodding to the group to acknowledge their presence as he smirked towards Adam

"Good as expected, I would suppose.". He replied with ease to his best friend before turning to say to the group, "So good to see you Drew and Bianca. Where are the kiddos?". He smirked knowing how rambunctious the couples children were, taking after their father it seemed.

"Psh, Audra is running herd with them today. She wanted to show them the school and then they are going to be around here for a while. She's got more patience than I do when it comes to them and their shenanigans. I love my children, but sometimes...". Bianca said with a smile, she had come along way from the rebellious bully to someone whom made a difference in not only her life, but Drew's as well.

He nodded and winked towards Drew with a smirk as he remained silent letting his wife speak as he normally did in such situations. It wasn't that she was in charge but she was outspoken and would have answered anyway.

"Eli, so nice to see you again. I wasn't sure if we would see you since you neglected the reunion a few years ago.". Came a voice from the group and he knew it without even having to look at her.

"Kate, Likewise and You know how things go in the literary world. Sometimes I'm lucky and can come and other times I'm off on the road working. Drew and Bianca told me it was a great affair and of course I wouldn't have missed this for the world. " He slide his gaze towards her and Jake who was next to her as he nodded towards the taller man.

"Indeed I do, however I'm no where near what you have to do with deadlines. Newspaper articles are what I like to do best. Glad You could make it however, there are plenty of people here whom will be happy to know You came.". She nodded up to her husband with a grin.

"She knows and We spoke,". He said quietly and nodded to them both. The rest of the group tensed slightly before his smirk appeared giving them the green light to relax.

After several minutes of talking amongst each other they quietly drifted apart o check out the rooms and the goings on in the school leaving Him along with Adam. Sighing softly as he shook his head at the unspoken look his friend was giving him.

"Left a note after You left and I had to get to the bookstore for her. I'd like to take her to dinner and talk. Things are fractured and now I'm stuck with these questions that I need to have answered before I put closure on it all.". He mumbled loud enough for Adam to hear. His friend chuckled and nodded his approval at the idea.

"I do want to warn you, she's here. I heard one of the teachers speak about how she was going to be in the auditorium with the Drama Club presentation stuff. I would wait before any confrontations until You have all the ducks in order, or at least finish the conversation with a certain something.". Adam cautiously said with palms up trying his best to keep Eli calm.

"I hardly think I'm going to go storming off and confront her in this place. Granted You would think I would considering all I did here as a teen, but believe me this would be the last place I would want to do something along those lines". He said proudly to his friend, knowing it was coming from a place of concern, but damned if his back wasn't getting up from this.

"I know and I trust you, believe me after all the years of putting up with each other I think we can say we know how either would respond under certain circumstances.". Adam told him as they left the foyer saying their byes for now to the others standing and conversation as they peeked into a few rooms seeing people glancing at interesting photos or speaking to the current faculty. They soon came upon her room and watched from the door as she was laughing with an older woman over some pictures taken in the eighty's and how much the looks have changed.

They slipped into the room and sat in some of the empty chairs listening to her speak to the others in the room and waited for their turn. She hadn't changed much in terms of the way her hair curled just so to tickle the edge of her shoulders that still enchanted him. She wasn't skinny and had never been but he was always enraptured with her curves to not want her to change them. There was something missing but he couldn't put his finger on it, but he was sure once he sat and spoke to her it would come to his mind unbidden and remind him once more.

Adam nudged him playfully and pointed towards one of the pictures posted on the wall of the both of them after the senior play standing together with the rest of the cast after the last night. It still amazed him that it went off, not without it's problems but it was something special and he was grateful that it went off else he would have been on a different track.

"What do we have here, two miscreants trying to rile up some trouble?". Marco said in a sing-song voice after spotting Eli and Adam sitting in the back of the room. "I would hate to have to chase you two off, but that would ruin the fun.". He smirked as he sat down near the two and shook their hands quickly.

"Del Rossi, How are you doing?". Adam, ever the little politician, said jovially as he smiled to the other man.

"Good as can be expected, I seen your brother and sister in law earlier and they said you were in sports management." Marco glanced at Adam with a smile.

"Indeed I am, and it's quite lucrative." Adam answered with a grin of his own glancing at Eli who was watching Clare with a look of longing. "This one here..". He mentioned towards Eli as Marco interrupted.

"Our own King, One of your former teachers still crows in delight when she tries to keep her students on the straight and narrow and she usually gives them the story of how she helped shape this one right here.".

Eli turned to glance at his friend and marco with an almost inaudible laugh. While he wouldn't say it she did really help him express his way but it wasn't all her help, the other person stood across the room from him.

"I don't think I'm worthy of such praise to be equaled to King, but I'll take it. Dawes did help me expand my creativity in both the written word and the actual as well with drama. So, she does get thanks.". He said simply as Clare finally noticed the voices and turned to glance their way with a little gasp. Blue eyes widened slightly as she moved towards the group with a bounce in her step.

"You wouldn't be bothering my associate here now would you boys?". She said huskily with a laugh as her arms hitched on her hips.

"No ma'am, we aren't". Adam said quietly with a wink.

She nodded quickly as her eyes swept the three of them sitting here in the desks that hadn't seem to have changed. He waited for her to look at him but she kept her eyes towards the other two purposely and that sort of hurt him but he could tell she was still processing things from the previous night and he wouldn't push her.

"That's good, very very good.". She said softly finally glancing his way with a little smirk upon her lips.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N : I don't own degrassi clearly but I do own this story!**_

_**Clare's Pov**_

The boys may have thought she hadn't known the moment they stepped into the classroom but there was no doubt that the chemistry began to electrify as soon as she felt his presence. Clearly nothing had changed for her at all in the years since they had been in each others proximity and it probably never would. She may not be willing, as of yet, to let that frame of thought be made public, but she knew it. What she was still having a hard time with was the fact someone felt the need to ruin things for others. It saddened her deeply to know that there was a person out there whom was heartless enough to want to hurt the person they so thought they wanted. She shook her head quickly to erase the thoughts brewing behind her eyes and smiled as she turned to glance their way shyly.

"Did you enjoy the tour of the school then?". She asked softly glancing between the two guys but her eyes lingered on Eli more often than Adam. She grinned for the first time as she moved to settle against one table close to them.

"We've not seen much, but we had to visit our favorite girl before seeing the rest of the other blasts from the past.". Adam said with a little chuckling, clearly enjoying watching his two best friends trying to fight whatever it was that was going on.

"Be sure to check out some of the classes will you, there are some fantastic things going on. I know they are doing something big for the dance they are having downtown tomorrow night as well as the picnic they want to have on Saturday before they end the festivities.". She said softly with a little grin.

She was quite excited for the dance, not because she had a date or anything but there was something about it that just made her look forward to the evening.

"We bought tickets and now to find dates.". Adam crowed in delight which made her giggle softly and shake her head.

She glanced quickly towards Eli as Adam spoke and wondered if he took indeed was on the lookout for a date to the dance. Images of that long ago Vegas night stood out in her mind, but they were quickly banished with other dances that occurred between them.

"You mean you don't already have someone in mind Mr. Ladies man?". She teased as Adam began to turn red at the mere suggestion of having a date. Adam hadn't changed a smidge in the years she had known him and would glad that she had him to depend on. It was these small moments that kept her going every day, and gave her the courage to keep on moving.

"I do in fact, but I was going to be the gentleman and not gossip." He said with a little nod trying hard to not laugh.

"Then I'll not press the matter else I would be loath to have someone say you were acting in a most ungentlemanly behavior." Clare admonished grandly with a little curtsy as the wind fluttered the delicate fabric of her sundress allowing for a slight view of her legs.

They talked more at length but once more people started filtering into the room the two of them got up to go explore more of their old stomping grounds. She could tell he wanted to speak to her so badly but wasn't sure if it was the time, but she could be the bigger person here right? As he stepped by her she gently touched his shoulder making him jump just slightly in response.

"Thank You for the letter, and I would gladly go out for supper tonight with you. Eli, I'm... Sorry.". She whispered the last ever so slightly towards him watching as his eyes clouded over hiding his true emotion as he nodded towards her.

"I didn't doubt you wouldn't go with me Blue, also, You'll have to tell me what color the dress is for tomorrow night.". He smirked slightly as his eyes met hers causing a shiver to slide along her body. "Be ready by eight.". He finished as they moved out of the door leaving her there to be starstruck.

She turned to look at Marco with a look that kept him silent when she knew he would be begin to crow in delight that there was a date night occurring for her. The faint blush grew along the pale skin of her cheeks as she heard the snickering from him behind her.

"Is there any way I can bribe you to not spread this little episode around for a few days?". She pleaded towards him as he began to laugh, shaking his head quickly.

"Not a chance there Edwards, Not a chance." He muttered with a little twinkle to the eye knowing that it would burn her that he was going to say something, even if he wouldn't. It was her life, and therefor not something for him to spread, but he liked to tease anyway.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

He almost stumbled from the room after her words affected the haze of his brain. It wasn't that he was nervous about the upcoming evening, because that would incorrect it was that he was actually here and moving on from the last decade that caused him to be in a stupor. Adam glanced his way suspiciously as they moved down the corridors towards each of the opened classrooms.

"Want to share with the class?". Adam asked with a grin on his lips watching as Eli struggled to stop smirking.

"What if I was to tell you that we are going, Clare and I, out to talk tonight? Given that it went to hell after you showed up last night, not your fault mind you but after we got her to bed there wasn't any time for discussion so tonight we will have said talk.". Eli said as he peered into a classroom and noticed Adam's brother and family within laughing at photos. Tilting his head towards Adam with a laugh as his friend noticed those inside.

"Ah, Really? I'm glad that You are, but be careful. Not just for you but for her. After putting things together it's just that I want both of you to find the truth, but that you're both older now and.. and.. I'm just cautious for both you.". Adam confessed quietly as he pressed a reassuring hand towards Eli's shoulder and smiled. "That said, You both still are for each other. Weather you like to hear that or no, same as her. There was always something connecting you.". He finished as he dashed into the room sweeping one of the kids into his arms with a bewildered Eli to follow him.

"If it isn't the notorious Torres clan and their minions!". Eli explained as Drew turned smiling towards the two newcomers.

"Psh, minions. These hooligans are worse than minions!". Drew eyed the three children with a mixture of scorn and pride. "'Bout time both of you turned up. Unless You've been here for a while and found something to occupy your time?". Drew said smoothly with a dimpled grin.

Adura turned at the voices behind her and laughed softly at her grandchildren before turning to the rest of the adults with a roll of the eyes.

"My grandchildren aren't minions or hooligans, thank you. Eli, good to see you again dear. Oh, and thanks for the books.. they are going to be raffled tomorrow night at the silent auction." She said with a smile eying the children quietly as they giggled at the various pictures before them.

"Glad to be of help Mrs. Torres, and think nothing of it since this is my Alma matter. If there is anything that the school needs, don't hesitate to ask if I can do anything I will.". He said genially a rare smile upon his lips.

From the hallway came some raised voices before Bianca came sailing into the room with Fiona on her heels trying to converse with the harried woman. Eli began to tense seeing one of the women that he needed to speak to about that night long ago, but chose to not bring it up now. Bianca stopped and turned to look at Fiona with a look that could only be described as anger.

"I do understand what you were trying to explain to me, but I chose to not acknowledge it because...". She stopped and finally noticed there were more people in here than before she left and sighed, her eyes falling on Eli as she continued to speak, "Guess it's true that You decided to grace us with your presence, congrats Eli. Miss Coyne here didn't think You would come, so I guess she can tell the ole girlfriend that You're here.". She sheepishly grinned nodding his way.

"It wasn't a secret that I was planning on being here.". Eli said carefully trying to not show the merest of emotions after hearing girlfriend and knowing whom it was they were speaking about. "Hello Fi, it's been a while.".

Fiona turned towards Eli with a bright smile and squealed rushing over to him quickly as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed and then did the same to Adam.

"Eli! Adam! You naughty boys didn't tell me you were going to be here today! You should have told me, and I could have put you up in the penthouse. Now that you are here I am going to be having a little party on saturday night and would love for you to come! Please say you will!". She grinned happily.

"Sure, We'll be there.". Adam replied glancing toward Eli before turning his gaze to the lovely Fiona Coyne whom hadn't changed much in the years since school. Eli nodded slowly in agreement as he smiled towards her as she quickly left the room with promises to visit with them before the end of the weekend.

Eli glanced quickly at Bianca whom always seemed wise beyond her age with an arched brow of question. The woman just shrugged in response as she sheepishly admitted without him having to speak, "I always knew who tore you two apart, and when she was speaking to Fiona about you earlier I had to react. I told that little quack that I wasn't fooled by her ways ..erm after You know and I wouldn't buy anything that occurred this weekend either. I didn't know you well enough in high school to defend you, but knowing you now makes me do it.". She admitted with a sigh as she rubbed her forehead gently, "Either way, she knows your here.".

Eli shrugged with a wry grin, "Like I said earlier, it wasn't really a secret. As for the topic of our discussion there will be a conversation there soon. I learned a few things myself last night concerning that person and I have a lot to process. Bianca, thank you for defending me.".

…...

Somehow he knew where to find her after he left Adam with his family promising to meet back up in a while to get some lunch later. He quickly glanced over her shoulder to see if they were following him and discovered they were all deep in conversation which made it easier for him to disappear into the crowd towards the Drama labs. Her voice carried out of the room causing him to frown, clutching his hands together to keep the rage from building as he stepped into the back of the room watching as Fiona and Imogen spoke to each other and the few whom were moving amongst the posters from plays performed here at the school.

"...I told you to be honest, and you weren't. Something is up and there are a few concerned people looking out...". Fiona trailed off noticing him in the shadows. Her gasp caused Imogen to spin to look out at the room and him standing there.

"Eli!". Imogen called rather loudly causing the others in the room to turn to glance in her direction. The fact she was overly enthusiastic to see him only strengthened his view on things, but with Imogen sometimes it was hard to decipher but he was bound and determined to do so. His dark eyes glanced back at her before he stepped closer to the couple causing Fiona to look at Him with a look of caution.

"I was just telling Imo here that You and Adam will be attending the little soiree that I am throwing. It's been far too long since I've seen you, naughty boy, I know you've been in New York because Holly J has seen You, as has Declan. Do you have..". She quietly spoke before he began to speak cutting her off completely without letting her finish.

"Fiona, I'm truly sorry that I didn't let you know I was going to be in the city, usually I'm in and out of there just to speak to the publisher or my agent. However, this little visit here isn't about pleasantries as much as I am loath to say. Imogen, we need to speak and it won't be here about something that have come to my attention about certain things that occurred a certain weekend long ago.". He stopped as his fists clenched in anger trying desperately to not raise his voice. He watched as she stepped away from him with a frown crossing her face, fingers twisting in nervousness at his words.

Fiona glanced between the two of the before she bravely stepped between the two with hands outstretched in a calming way. Her eyes widening as the tension that seemed to flow off Eli, and that scared her because she knew this was going to be difficult. One slender hand pressed against His chest holding him in his place as she began to speak to them.

"Let's not make a spectacle here as it seems you are wont to do, Eli. Clearly You are upset, or hurt and it's seeping throughout your body creating tension and You want to speak your mind to Imogen right now, is this the best place to do so?". She asked gently, frowning back at Imogen as she looked between them two. She sighed deeply as he shook his head in agreement never looking at Imogen.

"No, I suppose doing this here would be foolish, if not inopportune to both of you since You are both working now, but we will speak. Tonight, most likely or tomorrow.". He growled out not letting them speak as he turned to move back towards the exit before calling out, "Ever the peace keeper Fi,".

…...

_**Clare's Pov **_

She wandered among the visitors of the school and smiled seeing some of the current students along with fellow alumni that she recognized. The day was winding down as she was ready to get out of here and relax a little before the evening began, something she was usually happy about but with the date looming it wasn't close to comfort. Dates, usually for her these days, consisted of some weirdo she would find on a dating site, or a friend-of-a-friend and those were usually the most unusual. Tonight, was neither of those scenarios and what frightened her was the fact it was with the only man she had loved. After the group had left the room she told Marco all that had occurred last night, and then again this morning and he granted her the little advice he could about going with your heart. So, she was going to take this leap of faith.

"Clare, Did you get the ticket that was left for you this afternoon?". One of the teachers asked her as they both stepped from the building. She had almost forgot about the envelope, she thought to herself having been giving a tour of the room as it was handed to her. She waved to the lady as her fingers brushed into her purse pulling it up with a little chuckle. Quickly pulling it open she noticed the small ticket along with the note.

_Just don't pick anything pink, please _

She almost laughed the impassioned plea on the little note, but kept the composure to just smile and move to her car. The ticket was a little surprise because she hadn't contemplated even going to something so fancy, but now this meant she had to go out and find something elegant as to not embarrass herself.

"Dammit, now I have to shop..". She muttered as she drove off the lot listening to the music as she headed home.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Clare's Pov**_

She started at the racks of dresses with a slight tremor in her very bones at even attempting to find the one that would strike both her fancy or budget. Never one for the latest fashion trends and that somehow bothered her at times when such things called for formal, or at the very least semi-formals she tended to rely on Alli or Darcy when something came up. This time however, she was determined to do this on her own and wow them all tomorrow night. Her fingers brushed against the delicate fabrics until she spotted an midnight blue chiffon dresses that appeared fairy made and would bring out her eyes.

"Edwards, what are you doing here?". A soft, but purring voice sounded from behind her causing her to scream out loudly interrupting several ladies around her. Spinning on her heels she was greeted with an almost impish giggle from one of her old school friends Jenna whom seemed to shopping same as Clare was.

"Jenna, Good lord girl, you almost gave me apoplexy." Clare grinned quickly leaning over to hug the other with a little chuckle. "Dress shopping hmm?'. She asked coyly with a wink as her fingers pulled the dress she wanted from the rack with a little gasp seeing how light the fabric was up close. She hugged it to her as Jenna nodded eying the dress she had with a soft sigh.

"Same as You it seems. Wow, That one is so not you, but it'll look amazing with your pale skin and it's going to darken your eye color. Gotta date?". Jenna asked quickly arching a brow in question with a sweet smile on her lips. "Luke's coming up and asked me to attend with him. Not sure this is the best date but considering I've been single for a year now I said why not.". She chatted not really looking towards Clare, but quickly pulling dresses on the rack.

"I do actually, no surprisingly really." Clare replied as she fingered another dress this one in silk as her nose wrinkled in the texture against her hand.

Jenna stopped pulling the dresses with a little giggle hearing her friend's words. Perhaps it was just she'd never seen Clare date since college, or the fact that she made it so mysterious that it caused Jenna to pry, well more that she normally did at any rate.

"Who?". Jenna breathed softly and leaned in closer to Clare with a devious grin. Once she knew so would Alli who had been worried over Clare's hermit like ways for years now and this was going to be huge, huge, huge! Something bad had happened in college, Jenna knew but didn't know the whole story. She only remembered that Clare came back to Toronto after her second year in college saying she wasn't cut to be away from home, and that was all she would expound on. Even Alli didn't know, or at least wouldn't explain anything more than it had to do with Eli. Seeing Clare a few weeks after her return had made the girl not want to pry for fear of a breakdown of epic proportions and that was that in Jenna's mind. She'd have to give whomever wore Clare down for a date a gold star.

"Ah, well it's a surprise. You'll see tomorrow night.". Clare countered softly much to the chagrin of Jenna. "Don't go calling Alli to see if she knows, because she doesn't.". Clare finished with a smile at her friend. The moment Jenna got away the phone would be out she knew, but it still bore an admonishment from Clare. If she told them whom now, she wouldn't hear the end of it and that sort of concerned her. Instead of being supportive of her for this choice, she knew it would be warnings and screaming and that wasn't an option for her now. Somehow even with time and space of the years she knew that Alli would still have some ominous warnings regardless of anything Eli could do to tame the objections. That alone, in Clare's mind made her wait till they could see them together before it was known.

"Fine, Fine... I won't pry, You heartless wench". Jenna admonished with a little pout knowing that it wouldn't get anything out of her but she tried none the less to do it. When Clare wouldn't give over she sighed and turned back to the racks, pulling a few of the dresses to try on. "I'm glad you're going to be there it's been far too long since I've seen you go out like this.". She said with a nod and wink towards her friend.

…...

As soon as she pulled up to the house she noticed the car sitting alongside the curb and sighed wondering how talk gets around so fast. It was one thing to be curious about her love life, but it was another to interrogate her as if she was a criminal. Darcy sat upon the step playing with her phone quietly as Clare stepped up to the edge and stared at her sister.

"Who called you to tell you about the dance?". Clare started even without the niceties knowing that if she didn't her sister would eat her alive.

"Hello to you Darcy, how are you doing? Fine, thank you.". Darcy chanted in a sing song voice. "Actually, Someone came to talk to me today and I was both concerned and touched that I was contacted. Why didn't you tell me that he was going to be here this weekend? I mean, I suppose it would have been a given since he graduated from Degrassi and all but given... given after reading one of his books about his life he would avoid this place".

Clare froze completely hearing her sister's words and the implications of the publication. She had read the book as soon as it had come out just to find what he was going to expound on. Some of the book had been hard to read when he spoke on the teenage and young adult years and the travails of love, and loss. Her name hadn't been in the book but those whom were around had known in a second that name which wasn't mentioned.

"I honestly hadn't known that Eli was going to be here either Darce. He sort of showed up here with Adam last night and while it was a shock he has every right to be here as the rest of us. He contacted you?". Clare asked as she stepped over her sister and unlocked the front door ushering her inside.

Darcy sauntered in and dropped onto a couch with a little sigh before her eyes glanced over to her sister as she hung the bag on the door with a little sigh of her own.

"Yes, kind of surprised me to say the least. He called me about an hour ago or so and it was quite the conversation.".

"Oh?". Clare whispered softly as she frowned turning to look out the window. She wasn't terribly sure that she was ready for her sister's disapproval of her life, but having been used to the urgings of her family to move on with her life knowing she couldn't, or wouldn't with the hole in her heart. She realized years after the breakup that sometimes when you love someone it never goes away, and with her it hadn't so she soldiered on attempting some sort of peace within herself that was now coming unraveled and she wasn't terribly sure she minded.

"Yes, strange as its going to sound but that conversation with someone that I've never met was one that woke me up in more ways than one. I should have realized that more was going on under the surface when our parents divorced. My pain was one thing, but when your world falls away and it's left to a sixteen year old boy to try to help a girl cope sometimes it's not going to end well. I should have come home, or at least reached out to you somehow, someway. He told me what wasn't in the book and some of what was in there but was glossed over. The year you weren't speaking, and then when you were. I... I'm sorry.". Darcy whispered as she glanced down towards the floor, tears flooding her eyes. Quickly, she moved to wrap her arms around her sister's shoulders whispering quiet words of forgiveness into her ears knowing the pain and guilt.

"There was nothing you could have done Darce, believe me it was something that was either going to be worked out in my mind, or I was going to go crazy. As for mom and dad, well things were better in the long run because they were unhappy and it began to just pour out into the very soul of the house and when mom found Glen it was better. I admit that I made some rather idiotic mistakes there for a while but...". She pursed her lips in thought for a moment to collect the thoughts that were welling up unbidden. "From the moment I met Eli, things were different. Everything wasn't great and honestly it shouldn't ever be that way if it had been.. I would have been more concerned. I made great mistakes with him and hurt him as much as I was hurt by him. We helped each other, and I... I.. thanked God every night after we found each other a year after we broke up because he was a rock, even if he believed he was broken.".

Darcy looked over to her sister for the first time ever hearing the deep heartfelt words for someone she never stopped loving and it hit her that for all the words of moving on she never would. It hurt to know she never understood her sister at all, but vowed to now. The woman before her was a deep well, and it amazed her that she kept it locked away for so long.

"I could never explain to anyone just how much my world changed for the better when he was around, because a lot of my friends believed him to be so damaged that he was dangerous. How far from the truth they all were but as much as I tried to get anyone to forgive and forget I quit trying. All that mattered was that I knew how much he went through in terms of having a therapist, medicine and outlets for him. I guess after a while they began to see through me and it was good for years... and then... the end came and I had believed I did something, but now I know it was someone's greed and jealousy that caused my heartbreak. I followed his rise, and read everything he wrote.". She said proudly, smiling through the tears that were clouding those blue eyes so like her sister's.

"Honey, I know.. I mean.. I've watched you since I came back to make sure you were going to be okay but I knew you were strong, and that book you wrote was your way of coping. Even if your name wasn't on the cover, the words that came through were you heartbreak and loss and the way to come back from the dark. You came back, and so did he. He asked my opinion on some things, and wanted my permission to be back in your life... and no, don't get angry for him asking.. I.. I think he was alerting the family that if they felt you weren't going to be okay that he would step back before it began. Even Mom approves apparently, yes she knows and was called as well.". Darcy grinned slightly watching her sister's face become troubled and confused letting the words sink in.

Clare understood immediately what Eli was doing and while she should be upset somehow it comforted her to know he was going to make it right with everyone in her world and then her. As far as she was concerned it was okay with her, on her own terms. After a while and some more conversing between the sisters Darcy ran off to get ready for some parties that were going to be happening with former classmates. She was generally happy for Darcy, whom seemed to be finally accepting of the cards she was dealt.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

He stood on the roof of the building glancing out towards the city at large with a slight smirk upon his features as the last conversation was replayed in his head over and over. Somehow he decided that he needed to build the bridge of forgiveness with others before her, because in the end she was the last piece of him that needed to be in place. There were other things that needed to be spoke about with those whom did the wrong, but at the time he chose to ignore that for fear it would make a reaction that would cause him to sink in himself again. All these years of therapy and struggle to make himself whole could crumble without a chance.

After having separated from Adam with promises to go for a drink later and having set up the date as he promised he went visiting his parents alerting them to the change in fate. While they were hesitant with his decisions until he told them of the duplicity of someone he considered a close friend they began to warm up to his plans. He knew they were just cautious for him and his well-being he knew that they would be happy with whatever he chose to do. Right now, that meant he needed to make it right in his world.

"You aren't planning on jumping are you? It would be a bummer if I had to clean up after your ass because you were too selfish to jump into the water or something..". A droll voice toned from behind him. He spun to see Fiona standing there with a smirk that rivaled his on a good day. "I know You wanted to speak to Imogen but... but she's having a day of it. So, You get to speak to me on it, since I'm privy to all of her thoughts and whatnot. In fact, I begged her to speak to you a long time ago but since I'm not going to push her to do something I let it go. You can be upset with me because I knew but I can't fault her, nor can You fault me because I respected her wishes. She did write a letter a long time ago that I implored her to send you with her side of the story but she refused, the pain that she is.". Fiona smiled sadly, a slender envelope was hanging from her fingertips towards him.

"It goes beyond being upset Fi, and You know it and apparently so does Imogen. This is rage of the highest proportions in my mind that someone whom I've held at one of my best friends would hurt me this deeply. It's not even hurt I'm speaking of, it's loss. She caused me to lose the one person that kept me sane in the darkest days. You knew how it was for me, and yet... I can't blame you for keeping her secret when it wasn't yours to say about." He growls taking the letter from her hands gently but dosen't open it.

"I can only speak from mine own perspective here Eli... When... When it all went down and I heard I knew she had to have some sort of hand in it because of her infatuation with you. I've witnessed your relationship with Clare to know that she wouldn't, no couldn't just up and send some email to you to end things. It's not her style, but for some reason I didn't go to Imogen immediately and confront her. I finally got the courage to ask a few years back when we got together and she was over whatever it was she had about you and she told me, apologetically by then, her duplicity in it. I was quit ashamed that she would have stooped to a level, but I wouldn't have broke the promise I gave her, even to you. She did a great wrong and I know that, but as much as I want to defend that, You have every right to your emotions and she knows this. Read the letter and then if you feel the need to rage, or whatever she'll meet with you. My word on that, even if I have to drag her.". Fiona sadly smiled as she quickly opened the door and disappeared into the hallway leaving him to his own silence.

…...

_Eli,_

_I'd like to start this letter by giving you both the absolute truth and then __my own heartfelt confession as to what I did to both you, and Clare. I came to degrassi and was and continued to be an outcast that was always in the background regardless of what I tried to do to get noticed. The fact that I was only noticed because of how I dressed, and how I acted irked me to no end because people just overlooked the real me, and lo and behold when our junior year came about you came into the picture and from the moment I noticed you, there was something about you that captured my interest. It wasn't that you were handsome, or different.. you were both, but it was more how you carried yourself that I began to just admire you from afar, call it stalking but it wasn't in the least in my mind. See, sometimes you find someone that you resonate on a same level with and it's just there._

_I'll admit that at the time that you intrigued me like no other did and when you began to direct the play, I knew it was my chance to at least put it out there that I wanted you. The mistake was, as I look back now, that you were not even close to being over Clare and I should have realized then you never were going to be over her. As an adult I see what it was, unadulterated love, that would be considered rare at an age when some don't even really have an idea of what they want to do with their lives. Yet, foolish me thought that I had a chance with you. When we kissed in your room and you said her name my first inclination should have been to run fast away, but I stayed and added to your confusion. I led you down a path of revenge against a girl that really did nothing to me ever but try to mend the path that had been broken. When I had you throw away your medication could be constituted as neglect as it was something that I realized you needed, but thought it would break you._

_After the love roulette evening watching you from the stage as you began to tell the story of your love for someone you believed didn't I came to the realization that you needed help. We truly became friends after that chapter of our lives and that was the best time in my mind, but there was still that hope in me that someday you would realize I was someone you could turn to as a lover. I can truly say I was proud of your accomplishments as we turned seniors and moved towards that day where we could say we were free of Degrassi. When we all went to New York and it was a constant source of fun with all of the friends who went with us to NYU. The cloud of drama I had thought was gone with you being away from the damsel in distress (Clearly, I feel so much differently now about her than I did, believe me on this one!). Again, my emotions got rather crossed for the two years we worked together and I felt once again that I could be better for you._

_So, it then brings me to our third year at NYU where we worked so well together and had such fun times with Fiona and Adam and Declan. I really didn't understand how you both kept up the relationship being so far from each other, but amazingly it worked. When she came for that weekend, I could see how it hurt her that you were so busy and I came up with the plan that once she left I would make sure it was going to be forever. How was I to know that it would be a perfect storm in her life that someone would pass away and she would be incommunicado and therefor you would take it that it was true. What I didn't count on was how bad it became for you, and the time it took all of us to help you. I can now, only imagine what happened with her if you were this bad. It broke my heart to know that I caused you so much heartbreak and if I could take it back, believe me I would have in a moment for both of you._

_The years went by and I should have said something, but once you were back on your feet we all helped you along. You truly spread your wings and came up with some amazing stories and I can't help but wonder if that if you hadn't had some heartbreak would you be what you are today? Surely I wouldn't be heartless to give you that question, no, but I wonder if perhaps I was trying to help you get back to this day with her. Perhaps this was the time you were meant to be with her as You should be. Life is strange sometimes, as you may know from my life. Who knew that I would find the true happiness with Fiona, who is truly my conscience now as you can tell by whom delivered this. Please don't be upset with her for knowing, she chose to keep my secret because it was mine to give you._

_I don't expect forgiveness from You anytime soon, but I would like to hope that one day You will be able to do so. I had Fiona send a letter to Clare as well explaining myself to her much like this one for you. I can only ask that You don't take anything out on Fiona because she is an innocent in this and loves you as much as I do for all that You've done for us in the years we have been friends. This should have been something I could say to you as in a conversation but sometimes I find that my words flow so much easier on paper._

_I'm so sorry, and I know words don't change a thing, but I've changed in those years that I was selfish and self absorbed to notice when true love comes around, you don't cast it off as something that it's not. I learned that when Fiona gave me a chance and I realized that she was the one for me. I can only hope that You both find your way back to each other._

_Imogen_

…_..._

It was not hard to find Fiona after he finished the letter, in fact she was where he knew she would be, in the stairwell. She sat there quietly staring off at the wall as if the weight of the world was upon those stylish shoulders. In the years he'd known her she wasn't the pensive one in the group but looking at her now you wouldn't be able to tell that from. Quietly he dropped beside her with a soft, but definitive sigh wrapping one arm around her thin shoulders.

"I can only imagine how much it cost her to write that letter to me, and don't let this fool you for a minute that I am not upset with her but in the end it's not my forgiveness she needs. It's Clare who this was done to in the end. Sure, it was to get me but it was made to BE Clare and she never deserved this. I never deserved this, but I'll soldier on like the ant that I am.". He said slowly feeling her shaking beginning to subside as he continued to speak to her in a low, calm voice that even he was surprised he had at this moment. "If she can be given forgiven by her than I can forgive as well. For the life of me I still don't understand why she did this. For me? I was the fuck-up that crashed my damn hearse into a wall just to get the girl I loved to pay some attention to me. I got someone arrested on a fake ID.". He muttered.

Fiona softly sniffled, a sound so unladylike that even she began to laugh softly at his words, "Eli, You have always underestimated yourself even in high school. You were creative, and different and while sometimes you were mocked those that could see your genius reveled in it. I'm not good with flowery prose but, the spark in you was bright like flame. Sure, you had moments of being out of whack but don't we all?". She arched a brow slightly, causing him to chuckle against his will. "The point that's being made here after all the words is that even if you believed you were a fuckup, you weren't. Even during love roulette when you set the stage on fire it was something to behold. You put your heart out there to tell a girl that you were so in love with her, and that if she said go to hell you would. Gladly, it seems! Yet, after that you came back from hell to make yourself better and wrote the best play I've never seen, abet it was really the bards play but in your own spin.". She shrugged again seemingly getting a hold of her emotions enough that she quietly dabbed her eyes.

Eli had always known that his friends held him in some kind of regard but after Fiona's words hit his brain it surprised him.

"I wish I could have said something when I first realized what occurred, or that she was the one to have done it. However by then I was truly in love with her and now she is like my other part. I am a mother hen in that respect, as you well know. So, please don't be upset with me. I don't think I could live without your good opinion of me.". She said with a flutter of her lashes and he knew the last sentence was so over the line on her flattery he could only laugh, nudging her slightly.

"I'm not upset at you Fi. I am well aware what one will do when they love someone with not only their heart but soul and sometimes it causes one to do things. The letter did lessen the rage inside me, but as someone who is wont to have strong emotions sometimes those hinder me. I didn't open up much those last few months of my junior year to anyone, but it was because of the bi-polar label they gave me and somehow I thought it was my fault. I have learned in the years since that it's neither my fault or God's but just the luck of the draw. So, Imo was right in some respects about how I was back then, I did use her. I'm ashamed of those actions because they came from a dark place. She had moved on without me, first at the dance when I had waited at the place we both loved and then in the hospital. Crashing the car was, I admit, a call for help but then using Imo was a failed attempt to deny my feelings. That night was the turning place for me, and while I may have erased it as a seventeen year old, now it's a learning step.".

Fiona gently wrapped her arms around him gently squeezing as she sighed before whispering, "We were so fucked up as teenagers weren't we? I'm amazed I made it out alive with some of the things I did. However, I wouldn't trade about eighty-eight percent of it for the world. I'll tell her what You said, she was desolate when I left, but after all this it may be a good learning experience for her. Not that I believe she's a bad person, because after she saved me I know she's not.". Eli could only nod in agreement knowing how much Imogen healed Fiona from the dark that had consumed her. After pressing a kiss to his cheek she left him in his own thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Clare's Pov**_

The bell rang as she was finishing the last touches on her makeup for the date that evening as she moved towards the door expecting him to be standing there. However, Fiona stood in the waning light of the day with a slight smile upon her lips holding an envelope from her fingertips towards Clare.

"Hey, Fiona what brings you to this neighborhood?". She asked softly as the letter was settled among her hands with a soft but firm pat of Fiona's own hands.

"Please read this with an open mind, and except the apologies that come from this all when you realize the account on them. I... I hope that You can keep an open mind once the words sink in and if you can't well that's accepted to. However, I would hope that You can forgive us some day.". Fiona said sadly before she turned to walk back down the steps towards her car quickly, not even allowing Clare to call her back. Somehow she knew what was going to be in the envelope and sighed, pushing the door closed with a little frown.

…...

She almost didn't hear the doorbell it rang a second time in the space of an hour as she sat staring down at the letter in her hands. When she didn't move to answer it, the knowing click of a key in the lock could be heard as she spotted Eli entering the house quietly with a look of concern. He stopped quickly as his eyes fell to the letter in her hands before he moved forward to sit opposite of her.

"I see you got yours as well...". He trailed off before patting the pocket of his blazer gently. "I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty dim isn't it?".

Clare lowered her gaze back to the paper as one tear rolled down her cheek to blot the words. It hadn't occurred to her before now that in this small universe of hurt that he was an occupant as well. She hadn't allowed this train of through in such a long time that it was going to take some reassurance in her mind.

"Yes.. Yes, It's horrible. For the longest time I blamed myself for some unknown wrong that I may have done to you on the last visit. All that I remember after coming home from the funeral was that You wouldn't take my calls and all the emails that I sent came back undeliverable. After a while even Adam wouldn't speak to me and that was the worst to know that I lost both the person I loved the most and my best friend. It makes sense now to me having the answers here.". She whispered almost inaudibly.

She waved of his attempt at handing her a tissue as she sighed harshly as a laugh escaped her parted lips.

"I blamed myself for the longest time for things that were so ludicrous that even now make me furious. I thought... felt that maybe I was being so insensitive to you because I knew work was going to be heavy for you that week I was here. I should have rescheduled it all, yet you were trying to be accommodating. Yet, no it wasn't me at all but the girl who once talked you into throwing away medication you needed and to write a play about a cultist girl's love. Ugh...".

His hand slid across the table to grasp her empty one gently squeezing it to lend her some of his strength. Her blue eyes lifted from the words in front of her to meet the green ones watching her intently waiting for her to speak.

"I'm so sorry, for everything. I was upset that weekend yes, but I knew it couldn't be helped that You were doing what You loved so much...". She sniffed quietly attempting to explain the images in her mind as best she could. "I may have said something that in the wrong mind as being tired of certain things, but I wouldn't have ever wrote an email to break something off. That is such a cowardly way to let someone go, regardless if that was the farthest thing I would want. I went to sleep much of those years dreaming of a wedding, and children.".

"Clare, You have nothing to be apologetic for. In this whole wrong of wrongs there is one person whom did nothing at all but seems to have taken the blame, you. I want to get that across to you before anything else is spoken about, you deserve to be the judgment here not myself. She took it upon herself to tear us apart and I chose to believe something that now I wouldn't have even blinked if I received, but then I was so stressed with the world going on and I couldn't barely breathe let alone take care of you.". Eli breathed softly allowing his fingertips to brush against her wrist with just the barest of touches. She watched carefully not giving anything away in her face but her breathing hitched just for a second giving away everything in just seconds.

"We were both robbed of our future, and that to me is unforgivable in so many ways but I've learned to forgive much more as I grow older. However, with her this is just another thing she's done to me even without knowing me... I did nothing wrong ever to her except be someone in your mind that she didn't like.".

"Clare, I can explain that without even knowing what is in your letter. I think that there was something there where she believed that I wanted her. Perhaps I shouldn't have led her on when I began to write the play, or kiss her one night but that kernel of denial began to grow within her. You were the block in me that made her upset, and I was the shadow that was always out of reach. Perhaps had I turned to her after the whole thing went down it would have been different but I turned in myself and began to work, and write and didn't go out and date like she wished. So, she lost double because I didn't want anyone else, just you.".

Words, like images began to trickle down that slippery slope of memory bringing her back to that girl of sixteen standing in the club before the only boy whom she loved and understood her.

_Did You erase me from your memory..._

Shaking herself back to the present time as she sat in front of the one she screamed at that one spring after the world dropped away. Not the insecure girl she once was sighed and shook her head sadly back at the man in front of her.

"I almost ended it all, you know, after... after one of your friends came back to visit Toronto and confronted me. Blamed me for all of your troubles and really, this was the first time I knew anything... anything about what went on. I had accepted that perhaps I had pressed too hard on you and that you wanted time for yourself... but.. but... No, he told me that I was a heartless bitch for doing something to you. Granted, He didn't know I was already depressed because I believed I HAD did something to you.". She whispered and glanced down quickly, fingers brushing over the two faint scars that ran along the vein. She glanced up quickly as his eyes followed the movements of her hand, eyes widening in realization.

"Oh... No, Clare.".

She nodded quickly brushing the curls that fell into her line of sight, blushing slightly as she looked at him with an honest gaze. If this was going to be the time to be honest, it was going to be everything out in the open now before she opened her heart again. Even if it broke him, she would tell him the things that were kept secret.

"I do have one confession that I kept from everyone, but I shouldn't have kept from you. I took something back with me when I left New York, even if I hadn't expected it. Even my mother doesn't know, or I was planning on letting her know if...". She stopped and threw the paper off the table, palms pressed against the hardwood as her eyes met his again. "The last night I was there... um.. when we...". She couldn't finish but started to quietly weep as her head lowered, covering her face from view.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

He sat in stunned silence as she began to break down in front of him in that dining room. This wasn't what he wanted to do at all when he came back to Toronto. In fact, he had thought it would be a quick weekend and now it was beginning to change for him in more ways that he cared to admit. After finding that the last years of his life were just a lie from someone who had wanted him for themselves and now the woman he wanted was here hurting as much as he did infuriated him again. His eyes flickered down to her wrists before turning to see her blue eyes grow cloudy again.

"Take Your time, we have as long as You need to speak Clare,". He murmured in a soft, low voice lending her all the strength she needed.

She nodded towards him as she began to speak again, "I came back from the trip and really was thrown a loop when mom picked me up telling me what was going on. I tried.. tried to get a hold of you but I remembered you had that class so I figured that later would be okay. Then it turned bad with grandma and lost track of time. One week and then another went by before I noticed and when I didn't get anything from You, it was a crushing blow. I tried, and tried to call you with no success and when I got in touch with Adam something was off, but I explained what was going on here he understood. However, he would shut down when it came to you so I let it go, and even then I spoke to him once. I started to get sick, but I kept it from everyone and let them grieve as I was wont to do, but then I realized what was going on. Silly me, so silly.".

Something in him clicked as he listened to her speak, but not come outright and tell him the words she wanted to. He wanted to demand she say it to him, but kept the silence as she began to fidget in the chair.

"I realized that I was pregnant in those weeks we watched as my grandmother fought to stay alive, and the heartsick foolish girl that I was kept it from everyone. Only when I began to get sick in the mornings did I stop to realize that after I came home that something didn't come when it should have. Once I took a test and really confirmed it was when I tried harder to get a message to you, but then came the morning that I was outside the hospital and ran into the friend from school of yours. I guess the stress from everything raveling down around me caused a miscarriage and then came the cutting. The idea of the baby kept me from every bad idea that had run through me.".

"Baby, What?". He stuttered watching her look up finally for the first time.

Clare frowned at his tone, but kept on talking even as he began to fret uncomfortably hearing her confession. "It was one of the reasons I was trying to get a hold of you so badly, but when no one there would help. I should have said something more than I did, I realize now but I couldn't admit it to anyone. The baby while unplanned and would have broken my mother's heart, I loved it.". Her eyes drifted to her fingers as they clenched and unclenched rhythmically in time with the beats of her heart.

Eli sat in stunned silence for several seconds after she finished talking, the only sound in the house came from the fan that slowly turned above them. His green eyes widened as his mind finally came to the same conclusion that his heart was already feeling, heartbreak for the girl sitting in front of him now. The rage began to build again towards Imogen for something that she may not have known would happen, but the consequences for her decision was now coming home after all these years. To hear that he could have had a carbon copy of Clare in his life made him just that more determined that she had to hear the pain she caused, regardless of the hurt it would give her. For a woman, his mother had always said to him, to be alone and pregnant was akin to being lost in crowd when there was no one there to help him.

"I.. I should have come up to New York after.. after it happened to let you know.". She continued quietly as her eyes lifted slightly under the curls to meet his with a soft unsteady inhale of breath. "You can be upset with me if it makes you feel better, because for a while there I believed I did something that caused the baby to die, but the doctor said that it just wasn't viable.".

His hands slide back across the table taking hers gently into his trying hard to keep his anger in check so that she didn't believe it was towards her, because it wasn't. Fate, it seems had drawn them a bad hand but perhaps this could change.

"You have nothing to be ashamed about and I wouldn't blame you for a second in any of this. I wish that I had dropped it all and came back here to demand you tell me what was in the email to my face and perhaps this wouldn't have happened and it could have been very different now, just think You'd had have an almost teenager who could be causing you stress. Clare, things happen and while I'll grieve over what happened now I know and I understand why You are the way You are now because of the world crumbling around you. Believe me when I say that I know the feeling more than you can ever know. I know that I have no right to ask this of you but, how did you feel about the baby? You said You loved it, but would you have kept her or him?". He asked softly, his eyes locked with hers.

She nodded towards him with a slight, almost undetectable smile but he caught it as quick as it flickered across her pale skin. That fluttering of hope began to build in him much like the days when all he had to do was look at her to know it was right in the world, even if it still was a mess.

"Thank You". He whispered again, his fingers still lingering over hers gently as the slight touch was still electric.

"Eli, I want you to know something and You can disagree with me on this. While... While I'm very upset at the lengths that she would go to get you and it pains me to know that her lies caused both of us to lose more that she would ever know, I'm going to forgive her. It may seem like I'm foolish for not going out there and beating her senseless and I DO feel like doing that anyway, it's just not me. I'll forever hold a spot in my heart that feels pity for her but strangely I won't give her the power to control any aspect of my life.". She said with a nod, brushing her fingertips against the delicate planes of her cheeks wiping the tears away.

"You always were the better man than I". he mused aloud causing her to chuckle ever so softly, but her eyes still held the deep seated pain that he knew wouldn't go away with just a conversation. "I won't pretend to not be upset that this turn of events, and when I say upset it's not even that! I'm furious! Why would a friend do this to someone they claimed to love, or even want. To find a way to hurt them so deep and leave lasting scars.. erm, figuratively and apparently literally is beyond the scope of being. Hell, I'm an author and I wouldn't have come up with something as fucked as this. I spoke to Fiona when she gave me the letter and she reminded me that we shouldn't judge ourselves as we did during school years. I find that I now have to speak to her about the hurt that's gone on, you don't mind if I share what you told me just to make her understand. I want your approval, because it's your story as much as it's mine now.".

"If it helps then yes, but all means please share it, but I wanted you to know because I felt it was time to come clean about it all. I know that I alluded to it when I wrote, but at the time it helped me get over the guilt I carried and there was so much of that. The therapist told me that if I could write about the whole incident that it may allow me to overcome what I felt that I did, even if it wasn't really my fault. When the book came out, it did take away the feeling that I had somehow neglected something when I know now I didn't. It wasn't the right time for me to bring another person into the world. Perhaps sometime I will get that chance again, and if not then perhaps I may get the chance to be an aunt and give that child the love I have.".

Eli hadn't even remembered how he knew that it was her words when he spotted the book in the store that one summer morning. Yet, the moment he read the jacket the story that arose was one that hit against the wall he built quickly, and in that second he knew it was her. It wasn't a long read by any stretch of the imagination but it was one he recognized, but chose to not reach out. By then he had hardened his heart towards her, and this only made him realize that she was as damaged as he was.

…...

They never made it to the dinner that he had planned for them, but in the end it had been worth it to just sit and talk about some of the things that needed to be discussed at greater length. No one could ever accuse Elijah Goldsworthy of not being smart enough to know when it was a good time to listen to woman. Clare had a lot to say about any topic that had come to both of their minds and it still amazed him that she could keep up with him on deep topics.

What did surprise him that was she still kept to those long held traditions imposed upon her from childhood. It could have been his guilt deep inside that remembered one of the biggest promises that had been the one she wanted to keep till marriage, but teenage hormones and the thought of forever had broken that. Perhaps he could have told her during the hours they spent together he had kept one thing of theirs that probably meant the most to her, that small silver ring with _true love waits _etched upon it's smooth surface. True love had waited for them, but froze the time he thought to himself as he watched her mouth move with a laugh.

"...and then Adam begged her to come back.". Clare laughed softly

as her hands waved to mimic something as he was brought back into the conversation with a flicker of an eye.

"Clare, Can I ask you a question and You don't have to answer it, but I have to know?". He asked quietly, suddenly sobering up as his eyes locked with hers.

"You needn't ask to ask. Just go for it.". She said sweetly, brushing back a stray curl as she smiled shyly towards him.

"Can you forgive me?". His eyes lifted slightly to stare at her with a naked need in them for something that he couldn't quite put into words at the moment, but hoped she would catch on.

"There never was anything to apologize for, as far as I'm concerned when it comes to You, Elijah. When I came home from that weekend I felt as if I came up there and bothered you, even if you choose to say I didn't, I knew. If I hadn't insisted that I needed to see you perhaps this could have been prevented, or at least avoided. When you can see the forest for the trees you tend to overlook small, but potentially significant things and it happened for me. The want to see you overrode the pride of knowing that you were doing something important and yet, I chose to come there and try to take your time. At least it didn't derail you, ah that I know, because I followed your work in college and afterward from a distance.". She winked quickly as her smile curved into a warm smile.

He blinked several times at her confession and began to laugh deeply, feeling the muscles of his chest contract as her smile. This woman still knows that she can effect me like no one else and that was priceless to him.

"Stalker much?". He said smugly the smirk sliding onto his face as she began to laugh.

"Absolutely!". She replied with a giggle.

"Clare, regardless of what's happened to both of us know that I've cherished all the times we spent together and if by some small miracle and your approval, of course, we should want to pick back up and start anew I would make it up to you.".

His breath stilled as her eyes widened with the realization of his words, her face took on a pensive look that started to build the panic within the confines of his mind. What if she never wanted to have anything to do with him, sure it would break the hope within him but he'd been alone for so long now what was eternity?

…...

_**Clare's Pov**_

She hadn't been expecting that question from him this evening, if not ever but she had been pleased to hear it. Some would, ali, question why she would ever want to get back into a relationship with him but she had never stopped loving him and therefor would have been alone forever. Sadly most people never understood why she couldn't move on and find someone else to make her heart happy, but when you found the love of your life it was hard to think of anything else. While she was happy to hear the question her mother hadn't raised a fool and therefor she wasn't going to show just how eager the feeling was within.

_Do you think we could ever pick up where we left off?_

Her memories flashed back to the day of her junior year when the boy, no man, in front of her asked the same question to her in that little garden. Then she was unsure and afraid to take the same path that had caused her both the greatest highs and lowest lows. However, she couldn't say the same for this moment in her life.

"Do you truly mean this, I mean, pick up as friends... or more?". She asked cautiously as her blue eyes slid over his with a meaningful look that seemed to raise the smirk on his lips.

"Take it however You wish to take it for now. If you want to slow it down and reacquaint yourself with this specimen of wonder then so be it.". He said playfully the smirk still upon his lips as she laughed low in her throat finally being able to relax with him in the same room.

"I... I... I think it would best to take it slow and get to know you again and then let it go from there. I'm afraid I am set in my ways as an old maid and you may not want to deal with my persnickety nature.". She mused softly with another laugh on her lips.

"Then Madame, we shall do as You wish.". Eli stated with a definitive nod as he glanced down at his watch and sighed, "Far too late for dinner it seems, but I did decide that it would be far more proper if I stayed in a hotel so on my travels I booked one. I'm going to get my clothes and head on over there so you can get some rest, it's been a long day I'm sure. For tomorrow night brings much revelry. Shall I pick you up then Milady?". He asked ever so formally she had to laugh. She nodded and watched as he stood from the table but not leaving before kissing her hand gently.

"You don't have to go, I mean, I do have the empty room and all.". She said uneasily as he began to move into the hallway which made him stop and sigh wearily.

"No, Clare this is the right thing to do. Mostly because I know the people whom surround you and they would be up in arms about it and mostly because when it comes to you, I don't trust myself.". He said with a wink disappearing into the hallway as he began to whistle. She was left with her own thoughts as he left soon after but not before promising to whisk her away the following evening.

…...


	8. Chapter 8

_**Clare's Pov**_

The morning didn't start out as planned for her, but then it usually never did. One would never equate morning person and Clare in the same thought, but she tried and succeeded most times to be alive enough to get out the door for classes. After falling out of bed during a rather dubious dream she couldn't get back to sleep if the world depended on it, so instead she quietly made some coffee and sat in her kitchen nook watching the world outside. She was in her own world so much she never felt the body drop into the chair across from hers.

"Earth to Clare... Earth to Clare.". Adam grumbled sleepily rubbing his eyes with an agitated glance at her. Clearly he wasn't a morning person either, but here he was up and at em like her.

"What.. Oh, morning there". Clare sheepishly grinned motioning to the pot of coffee and the mug close to her. "You came in late it seems, what where you doing?". She asked softly glancing at him with a concerned look upon her face seeing his frown.

He quietly waved away her concerns getting the first sip of the hot brew down with a greedy sigh. Sliding his fingers along the mug he glanced up again seeing her watching him and laughed.

"I'm fine, just never been a morning person y'know?". He mumbled grumpily as he shrugged. "Forgot to call to let you know so there would be no calls to the cops about someone breaking in but I was out with the family and a few of their friends. It's hard to get back on a regular basis so when I do we go all out. Holidays not withstanding because those have their own schedules. Mom wanted me to call you and have you over, but Eli had talked to me earlier in the evening so I told her you were going to be busy. I hope you were busy.". He said with a wriggle of eyebrows in a suggestive way causing her to laugh softly and shake her head negatively. "Joking, Joking. He told me he gotten a letter and thought you would too. Everything go okay?".

She quietly told him what had occurred and what had been in her own letter. There was never not a time that she doubted Adam's loyalty to both her and Eli and this was one of the times it touched her that he would be furious on their own accord. The only thing she decided to leave out what the secret that she shared with Eli last night thinking that bombshell wasn't something that she should burden Adam with.

"Fiona knew?". He asked carefully trying to keep the hurt from his tone, but Clare knew that before his fondness for Fiona even after she hurt him. Clare nodded but held up a hand to keep him from saying anything.

"She knew, but in her defense I believe that she kept it because Imogen promised her to keep the secret and I won't blame her for that. Honestly, I may be a sap but I don't hold as much hatred towards Imogen either. I won't say that I'm not upset for that would be lying to both myself and everyone. She had her reasons, even if they were absolutely incredulous and selfish it's something she has to come to terms with. Fiona, from what Eli told me was really broken up that she couldn't share it and I believe that.".

"Your going to forgive Imogen?". Adam choked out almost spitting out the coffee he'd just sipped causing Clare to almost laugh at the look upon his face.

Clare sat there for several moments trying to come up with the best answer that wouldn't cause Adam any undue stress. She knew that he was upset for everyone, and that wasn't how she wanted things to be. Perhaps she was really the pushover her sister claimed she was, but perhaps she was just the better person in all of this to overlook certain things, just not everything and she wouldn't. Imogen would hear about what she did and how it caused pain, but that would be later.

"I won't say she'll be forgiven for everything because there are things she's going to hear about what I went through after that weekend. She caused both undue stress on not just me but Eli, and there are things that even she wouldn't have guessed would occur.". Clare said softly with a soft sigh.

"No, I wouldn't imagine that someone could plan for everything now could they?". Adam said with a little spite, but nodded at her look. "You continue to amaze me that you aren't ready to just behead her. I would be, and I'm sure Eli was there for a time. Yet, you seem to be more forgiving or it's hiding that well.".

"No, there will be a conversation between us. There is no doubt about that simply for the fact she's going to be told the consequences on her actions. Maybe then I'll be more upset but I feel more pity for her. I never trusted her, but no one ever brought up any concerns to me about Imogen when you all went to NYU. So, what was I to know that I should have kept a better eye on her.". Clare looked at Adam with a look of speculation. It was true that no one had mentioned Imo's obsession with Eli. It could have been said that there wasn't an outward appearance of any obsession, well not since their junior year in high school and the few weeks they had dated.

"If you would have asked me back then about it I would have answered honestly. I didn't see any inkling of what I had seen in high school, but then again I didn't hang with both of them at the same time, nor did I hang with her by myself. She wasn't one of my friends anyway, she tended to be around Fi and Eli. Since I wasn't in their circles I was excluded a lot, and by then I was already off delving into other things up there. I admit that our relationship at the time wasn't the best since any time I asked to hang out he was busy and I could understand that. School was a bitch, and it was the mistress.". Adam said with a grin that Clare mirrored.

The continued to chat for a while as Adam told her of the evening's events that would occur at the ball. Apparently he had scored some nice tickets to some of the sporting events around the city for the silent auction from some of the people he managed. She was proud of all the work he had done for himself in light of his early years, and it showed that he had the sense to be tough but fair in business. The only thing she wished for him was to find the happiness that always eluded him.

…...

"Adam, is there anyone special coming tonight to be your date?". She asked suddenly startling him enough he glanced up from the paper he'd been reading. He grimaced slightly trying to hide the irritation that question always brought up.

"Actually, no. Should I have one?". He asked abruptly, ignoring the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach at the line of questioning. Somehow this should have been easy to dodge being his mother had the same question anytime she spoke to him. Audra Torres was never one to let sleeping does lie and when it came to the youngest member of the family she was relentless. It came down to wanting more grandchildren and someone to love her baby boy then she was going to keep asking. Audra, however, had the tack to not add the children given any that would come from any union wouldn't be biological after all but still would be adored regardless.

"I suppose not, but I was just trying to ask if You were dating someone? You never mention it and... and I was just curious.". Clare explained gently, smiling at her best friend fondly.

"I know you mean well, but considering Audra asks every time we speak on the phone it's become an easy to dodge, you know? I have been on a few dates in the last weeks or so, but no one I would want to bring home for the judging. I was going to escort mom because dad is out to town for the last two weeks in Vancouver with a deal." he shrugged slightly sipping the hot liquid gently as Clare smiled at him. "I'm not dodging the question but I do wish I had someone but there are a lot of women who don't want the baggage I drag along. I wish it was easy to find someone who didn't care about it all, but it's next to impossible."

"No, it's not. Clearly they are either nitwits or not looking at you.". She said vehemently with a shake of the head at his words. "Adam, have faith.". She concluded with a wink. He laughed at her words knowing she meant well and was honest but it still didn't help him to find someone.

"It amazes me that an English teacher would use the word nitwit to describe other women. I'm content with my life right now Clare, but if someone came along then it would only brighten my world so no worries with me. Sex, I can get.. Companionship is another matter and you know how much those two worlds are different. Oh, speaking of tonight mom wanted me to extend an invitation for you to come with her and the girls to get all dolled up at three. The ball starts at seven, should be enough time I hope to get pretty.". He laughed loudly dodging the palm that swatted at him in mutual laughter.

"I hadn't even thought of any of the logistics of a ball. Then again I had not planned to even attend up till yesterday. My help had been confined to the school. Yes! Please tell her that I would like to come with them. Sounds like fun and as You know I'm neither the girly girly nor the socialite to know such things.". She said sheepishly with a grin over her mug.

…...

They had spent the morning talking over every aspect that had occurred in the years since they graduated high school and went to opposite sides of the country. It was not that they had kept up with each other because they were best friends but sometimes you overlook the little things when you aren't near each other all the time. She had missed this she mused later as she was leaving the house to go meet his mother and sister in law at the spa.

These little moments were another thing that had been missing with her own mother who preferred to spend time with Glen, her stepfather than to have little times with her daughters. So, it was always left to Alli and Darcy to keep her moored down as a female even they were sometimes neglectful with their various significant others and careers.

Every single thought vanished the moment she walked into the spa and noticed there was far more than just Audra and Bianca in attendance. The memo must have missed her house that this was THE place to come and have others pamper you before a grand event. She stood in the doorway watching the stylists helping others into chairs or other rooms for their appointments. Laughter bubbled from every corner of this building and that cast a calming spell over everyone within, including Clare. Smiling as she stepped into the main room with a bounce in her step as Audra spotted her with a quick flicker of her fingertips beckoning her over to the others.

"Clare, We had wondered if you were going to join us and it's good to see you!". Adam's mother voiced with a warm welcoming smile as she sheepishly nodded her greetings to the others who stood around conversing quietly.

"Adam sprung this on me just a few hours ago, of course I hadn't been planning on attending till yesterday either but, still. Thank you for including me in this, it's overwhelming.". She shyly admitted sticking a stray curl behind her ear as the employees of the spa began to come forward explaining what was on the menu of treatments. In the end she chose to get a massage to soothe her tense body and then her hair would be tamed and fixed.

"Please come with me Miss Edwards?". One of the employees said softly placing a hand on the crook of her elbow gently. She nodded and quietly followed into a small but elegantly decorated room listening as the lady began to explain what would occur during the time here.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

Family sometimes could be either a pain or a blessing, and in Eli's case it was both at the same time. He shouldn't have even bothered to have brought up the current drama that was raising both his blood pressure and stress. At the moment Cece, his mother, was expounding on the past soap that had been his life. It wasn't like he was unaware of what has occurred, having been living it himself but she chose to advise him that this may be foolish, and dangerous for his well-being. They meant well, he knew deep down in his soul.

"Baby boy, it's not that we aren't happy.. erm.. or at least we are happy for you. It's just that considering how the road has been when you are in a relationship with Clare, we are concerned. Please, just see it from our eyes and how we have had to reach down and grab you when something has gone wrong.". Cece explained softly as her fingers held her child's lightly patting them every so often for support. Her eyes were filled with worry for him, he knew.

"If anyone knows how bumpy the road has been these last fourteen years it has been me. I've lived them quite well, mind you. Perhaps I should have started with the story instead of fast forwarding to the end as I normally do with you Cece.". He said quickly raking his free hand into the hair so like his father that Cece smiled in response to watching the nervousness build in her son. She nodded without a reply and waited to hear what was going on in his life.

He began to speak about what went down those many years ago having not told them the whole truth in what he knew as that back when it happened. Somehow it had begun to become easier to speak about the pain that he had went through now that he had the full map in front of him about the lies. His mother's eyes began to fill with tears as his words came quickly, explaining everything that he hadn't even told Adam on what Imogen's lies has begot.

"Oh, Baby boy what have you gone through?". Cece whispered as his arms wrapped around her thin body hearing the heartbreak on her own words crushed him.

"Cece, you know that I came through everything as well as can be expected from this warped horror writer. Ah, that is an understatement of course but I pulled through it with the help of others whom cared. Now, had I known the full absolute truth it would be a much different matter. I came out far better than Clare did. She had three things compound her in as many weeks and that she's still sane makes me know that when I said she was a hero long ago, it's still the truth. I don't want this to sound like I am not taking any blame, because I believed what was told to me.".

"Then I believe that I owe her an apology for being to harsh about her whenever someone brings her up to me in the last decade. I had believed that she had ended it when your time was spent getting an education and not enough on her, or some such thing. Is she okay?". His mother asked gently, rubbing his arm for support as her eyes glanced over him quietly making sure he was okay as well.

"I don't think she'll be asking for an apology from you or bullfrog because there isn't a need for one. Considering You believed that she was the one in the wrong, as did I it's something that neither of us were in the wrong about. Comedy of errors if you will, but I believe she's going to be okay. She's always been strong, and will continue to be.". He remarked as his mother nodded listening to him.

"Good, Baby Boy.". She sheepishly commented as he continued to talk to her about other items for several minutes before dashing off to begin his countdown to the beginning of the ball.

…...

If only he had realized just how much it went into making every single detail the most perfect for both of them, he would have just stolen her away for a weekend instead. Luck was on his side in the form of a small, but romantic woman by the name of Audra Torres whom after explaining what he wished to do decided to be the fairy godmother to her son's best friend. She quickly helped secure some of the items that would be needed to woo a woman as he wished. Now, if only his nerves would cooperate with the rest of him it would be perfect.

"You look dashing Dear,". Audra smiled at both of the men who stood in front of him, "You too Elijah. Such good looking men, you sure there isn't some woman you can find for Adam.". She cocked an eyebrow towards Eli with a grin as Adam groaned loudly. It was done in jest, they knew, because she quit trying to badger her son long ago but wished he would find someone to love soon.

"Thank You , for all of this. I may be able to dream up things, but nothing like this.". He asserted sheepishly as he squirmed in the tuxedo clearly uncomfortable in the clothing. She smiled back at them and patted each of their cheeks before leaving to finish her own dressing. "Adam, I'll be ready soon, I'm sure. Elijah, good luck dear.". She called out as she disappeared into the hallway.

"What did she help you with, by the way?". Adam slyly asked watching Eli flicker a stray hair that landed on his forehead gently. Eli turned his eyes towards his friend with a smirk.

"I asked her help in some surprises for tonight, that's all. She's good at organization I've found, and she helped me with some of the feminine things. It's no biggie after all, you'll get to see some of it so don't pout if I don't tell you right now.". He retorted and walked to the door before Adam could form something to grouse back at him. "I'll see you there, don't pout. I've heard that it causes wrinkles.". He laughed softly as he closed the door stepping into the crisp spring evening.

The man standing in the driveway looked up from his phone with a grin upon his lips as soon as he noticed whom it was walking towards him. Tapping his nose gently as he nodded towards the limo with shrug before falling into step with Eli.

"I was able to get everything You asked, but really did you need it all?". The man inquired tightly.

"Declan, shut up and scram will you? Thank you for helping with this. I owe you.". He said grinning at the other man.

"Consider this payment for that time when you saved my ass from those females a few years ago.". Declan said with a smile of his own, shaking his head at the memory.

They shook hands and went their separate ways as the limo began to move back towards that small bungalow which held his date for the evening. As the vehicle moved closer to it's destination he began to feel nervous and hoped he was doing the right thing with this evening. He felt it stop before his eyes glanced up to see they were where they needed to be, at Clare's house. As soon as the driver opened his door he vaulted out towards the front door and the girl behind it.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Eli's Pov**_

If someone had told Eli that first dates were both torturous and stressing he would have rounded off some snarky reply to them that it was all about how you approached it. Granted that this wasn't their first time at the rodeo but after a few years it could be seen as a first all over, and that was how he felt right now. After their time apart it and the space of distance there was always something new that he could expect from her. Clare, after all, had been a surprise to him even when they would be together each day at school and then after. Which brought him to the present standing in front of her front door almost hyperventilating at the thought of spending alone time with her. His fingers clutched a small box in them as he reached up to knock, but before he could it flew open to reveal the object of his thoughts standing there with a sweet shy grin upon her face.

"I heard the...". She began but stopped eying the limo that sat in the street before her home and gasped at the sight before her. Never before had she seen him so dressed up as he was then. "You look smashing, I'm... I'm amazed how good you clean up Elijah.". She said sweetly with another smile his way.

He was sure she thought that he was either tongue tied or that he lost his wits as he stared at the picture of perfection in front of him. Clare had obviously picked the right dress for the occasion tonight, and that pleased him more than he would ever say. The dress was a midnight blue fairy creation that molded to her figure most beautifully and fell in folds to the tops of her feet. As if by mind reading she began to spin slowly allowing him to view the rest of the one-strapped dress. The red began to grow against her cheeks as she cleared her throat gently bringing him out of the reverie that he was caught in.

"Oh.. Edwards, You.. You look most magnificent on such short notice erm.. I mean you clean up beautifully and I know the men will be envious of me tonight.". He breathed softly as a blush formed on his own cheeks at his words. Her only response was to wink and lean back to grab the small clutch and throw that matched the dress before closing the space between them as the clock of the door sounded closing the house up.

"Thank you Sir, it was an arduous day indeed for me. I had a long talk with Adam and then went with his mother and some others to a spa, something I'd never did before but it was glorious! Thank you for asking me to attend with you, because I wouldn't have gone likewise.". She commented as she felt one of his hands on hers sliding something along her skin before she could look down the fragrance tickled her nose with the scent of gardenias bringing her back to a day they spent in a garden long ago. Her gaze lowered spying the corsage and smiled, thrilled to even have something so small as a gift from him.

"I hope you don't mind the corsage, and thank you for not wearing pink.". He smirked at her and held out an arm for her to take, "Your carriage awaits m'lady". They quickly descended the steps as the driver opened the door for them allowing Eli to help Clare within in the limo and following her after.

Eli watched her carefully as blue eyes glanced around the interior of the limo slowly taking in all the clean lines and little surprises that sat on every surface of the vehicle.

"You work quickly when you want something done don't you Goldsworthy?". She asked slowly eying him suspiciously after several minutes of silence. He shrugged slightly as his eyes found hers and stared taking in the exact look upon her face. When he didn't answer she quickly moved to sit in the seat right next to his with a smile. Her fingers gently found his and curled within his long ones comfortably.

"I wish I could take all the credit on this, but I did have some help from a few fairy godmothers. Once you agreed to attend with me, I knew I had to have some help and Audra stepped in to do a few things at the last moment along with Adam and Bianca.". Eli admitted sheepishly as a stunned Clare glanced up at Him with wide eyed. "Before You ask, yes they all pitched in to help after I explained a few things. They all know about the email, but not about anything else. That is between us, and when this is all over I have something else for you as well. Anyway, I have something else for you that I've carried with me for as long as I can remember.". He held another small package out to her and she gasped.

"It came after that weekend, and I knew it was for you the moment that I put my eyes on it in that window in the city. I had one of my neighbors bring it down for me when he came down.". He went on softly watching as she glanced down at the little box with some suspicion before opening it. A small ring sat on the red velvet and glimmered up at her, the silver shined as she could see the etched words upon the surface and gasped glancing up at him.

_Such is my love, to thee I so belong _

"Such is my love, to thee I so belong. I know you remember that quite dearly and it's been something that has resonated within my psyche since you came along. I put it away when it came but resolved to give it to the proper owner someday, and this would be the perfect time to give you this.". He finished gently as he slid it on her finger with a wink. "This isn't a ring for significance right now, but perhaps somewhere down the line this can be a ring to give to a child much like you had. A ring I still cherish as well.".

She blinked and began to blush again remembering the night that she slid that small gold ring from her finger and put it on his. That was a time which would forever be engraved upon her soul. She smiled and gazed down at the gift with a soft sigh.

"You are making me speechless Goldsworthy and I don't find myself that much at all these days. Having me silent may work sometimes, but right now it's that I have not expected this. Thank you for the ring, it's amazing and so unexpected that I don't know how to repay you.". She whispered leaning close to him with a little smile. Her lips brushed against his tenderly as she coyly snuggled up to his side.

"No need to repay me to anything, in fact this is just the beginning of it all if you will allow me back into your life in any small measure. I won't pressure you, nor ask anything that you aren't willing to give. In fact, I don't expect an answer right now but think on it. Tonight is about having fun and being together. When you are ready to explore the issue, I'll be here. Now we are almost at the hotel so brace yourself.".

…...

The limo pulled up in front of one of the most elegant hotels in downtown Toronto that seemed to be filled with other limo's and vehicles intent on the same event. Once the driver opened the door Eli slid out and held an arm for Clare to exit the limo gracefully. His smirk turned into a smile as her eyes glanced at the elegantly attired people who milled around the entrance of the hotel. He was glad that she decided to attend with him because if he had to come alone, it would have been a short evening.

"However did they get this hotel for the event I'll never know, but it's spectacular. I was not on the planning committee but they must have had some friends in high places.". She commented as her eyes took in the many floors of the building with a sigh. He chuckled low as he pointed up with a flick of his fingers towards the twentieth floor.

"I have a room up there, I figured that since it was going to be here I should take advantage and it's easier if I can seduce you.". He said with a wriggle of his eyebrows. She scoffed and slapped at his arm with a laugh. "I kid, I kid. It's a nice place and close.". He smirked rubbing his arm gently with a hurt look.

…...

_**Clare's Pov**_

She took a deep breath as they crossed into the hotel's lobby becoming part of the crowd that stood before two large gold filigreed doors that once open would admit those into the ballroom. Clare glanced up at Eli with a smile that seemed to relax him once she squeezed his hand in assurance. His words still ran through her mind at the speed of a cheetah making her wonder if she did indeed want him back into her life again, and it wasn't a hard decision at all to her. She would wait, however, to tell him at some other time and just enjoy the evening's delights.

"Clare, I have one small confession that I need to make to you. That is if you wish to hear it.". Eli mumbled softly into her ear causing her to gasp and glance up at him with a troubled frown. "I don't quite think I'm up to par to dance. In fact, I was told once that I look like a sea lion when they are after food on land when I dance.". He glanced down at the floor guiltily as she began to laugh softly at the imagery.

"Fear not Sir Galahad, we shan't dance anything that would require you to attack seals. I can assure you of that one. However, we can dance when it's something slow. I won't hold it against you. I can't say the same for Adam who's making his way over now. ". Clare teased as he began to relax and smile down at her. Adam waved as he approached them with a big smile upon his face.

"Evening to you both my fellow outcasts!". Adam cried loudly causing several people to glance their way. He just turned and bowed dramatically at each of them before turning back to his friends with a laugh. "I must say that dressing up lends me an air of elegance that we normally don't have eh Eli?". He glanced at Eli with a grin and then laughed at Eli's discomfort.

"Adam, You look handsome this evening. Audra must be proud of her escort, where is she? I owe her a lot of thanks for both this morning and..". Clare's voice dropped off as she glanced towards Eli with a wink. "Helping set some things up for me.".

"She's somewhere that woman runs the moment her feet hit the floor. What did she do for you?". He asked suspiciously turning to glance at his best friends.

As she opened her mouth to explain the large door opened ushering the waiting crowd into the splendid ballroom. Adam just smiled and gestured towards the entrance with a smirk on his lips which made her stick out her tongue towards him playfully as Eli's hand cupped her elbow and guided her with the rest of the crowd.

Her first glance of the room could barely contain just what she was witnessing. The gilded walls held the most delicate candelabra with gold candles lit to cast a golden glow down to the multitude of round tables which sat alongside the marble dance floor. She watched as waiters helped the people to each table that was preselected for them, carefully settling the women in their chairs as the wine began to flow.

"I can only imagine a wedding reception here would be extravagant after seeing a mere ball. Have you been to an event here before?". She asked him quietly as they were directed to the table assigned to them. He nodded but didn't elaborate as the waiter began to pour them wine and pointed out the dinner selections before moving away to others.

"Yes, One of the guys from school is from here and when they decided to get married they chose this place. It was an amazing and I bet very expensive reception but they are both from well off families and at the time I came back here I wasn't making much, but it was fun." He admitted as his eyes took in her face watching as she began to glance at the others finally entering and finding their own tables.

…...

The music began to softly filter throughout the room as people quickly descended upon the table they were assigned to. She heard some of the people speaking rather loudly at other tables about Eli which began to trouble her greatly but before she could turn to speak to them she heard someone call her name.

"Edwards! Goldsworthy! See that Drew, they jumped when we called their names. So funny!". Bianca laughed as they moved around the table to sit in their spots. "Looking good and Saint Clare!". Bianca said with a wink, waving a waiter over discretely. "Oh, the looks on your faces, still priceless after all these years!". She crooned as Drew just laughed at her antics.

"Bianca and Drew, good to see you too.". Eli said softly with a nod to them both as they continued to laugh heartily before waving to others around the room.

"'lo B and Drew.". Clare replied with a grin at them. She hadn't always been a fan of Bianca but in the years since she became a mother it had been easier to deal with her. Drew had mellowed her out after she had decided to buckle down in school and move away from the troublemakers whom were her friends. Now she spent her days in the PTA and in her gradening shop, so it worked out in the end for her and Clare had been happy to watch the couple's relationship remain strong.

The tables were almost completely filled before they looked up to see that the rest of those sharing the evening were in place. Across the room she spied Alli and her date along with her sister and peter. She received a few glances herself but no one had yet to approach her to ask about it all, but she knew it would come eventually and she was ready for it all.

…...

If she had been nervous before arriving at the ball, those nerves were gone by the time the woman came to the podium and began to speak about Degrassi and it's alumni. She went on about certain people from each grade that had achieved something of prominence and Eli was one that she touched on which caused more pride than she had realized to come forth in her mind about him. It wasn't that he was famous, it never had been, it was that he went about getting the things done he wanted to achieve. The many novels that bore his name became a point of pride for both Toronto, but the community as well the lady reiterated to the group. Had she not been watching his face the smile he bore would have been forever lost, and that would have been a shame in her mind that he never smiled like that anymore from what Adam would tell her. She vowed now that it she could get a smile from him it would be heaven, just heaven.

"If you keep staring at him like that he may get a little concerned, or that you've lost your mind.". Adam muttered in her ear as she began to laugh softly causing several people to turn her way and frown. Nudging him slightly with her elbow as she turned to glance at him with a grin.

She shook her head at Adam before she turned to glance back at the stage where another speaker had begun to talk on the silent auction and the many gifts that the attendees could walk away with by the end of the ball. What she hadn't been expecting is the call for Eli to come up and have a few words about what the school had meant to him. If she had known, well, she would have brought something to record it in memento but, what she found was that writing wasn't just his passion, but speaking. That was a new-found talent that she never realized. Eli had been the man in the shadows as an adolescent, preferring to write the plays than act in them. She turned to glance at Adam with a look of surprise.

"He's turning into a speaker now?". She whispered softly at him watching as Adam began to shrug the look of surprise was on his face as well.

"Yeah, this is a hidden talent. He never liked speaking in front of large groups in high school, sure he could when he was trying to get his point across in a play or whatnot. He's pulling rabbits out of his hat now.". Adam motioned to the stage with a chuckle. "I'm happy to see you both speaking again, or whatever this is. I can see it in both of your eyes, even if he doesn't want to admit it. It's good to see.".

She nodded in agreement with Adam but refrained to speak as her eyes turned back to the stage and watched as Eli continued to discuss some of his better memories of the high school. The images floated to her eyes each time he mentioned something that she remembered.

"Clare, Honey are you okay?". Audra asked quietly seeing the look upon the woman's face and sighed gently as Clare nodded quickly, wiping the tears that pooled on her eyelashes.

"I'm fine Mrs. Torres, sometimes when those mental images float up I get a little emotional is all,". Clare admitted faintly. The older woman nodded and leaned over to pat the girl's hand gently before quaffing some of the wine from her glass.

Several minutes later one of the emcee's finished their speeches and let the diners know that it was time for the ball to official open and dancing could commence. She looked up to wonder where Eli had gotten to and found him with several woman whom seemed to want his autograph. The white hot flame of jealously reared up quickly seeing how they were dangerously close to him but as soon as she felt it the anger receded from her. If it was one thing that she never had to worry about this was one of them, and she knew it. Loyalty was a tenet of his that was hardly ever crossed, even when temptation was before him.

She stood and moved away from the table winking at Adam as the music began to swell into a graceful tempo that had her hips moving in time to the beat. Couples began to stand and make their way to either the floor or around the ballroom to view the items up for sale. The only thing in her line of vision was the man whom she had fallen in love with again, Eli and he was busy speaking to some of the fans whom were conversing about their favorite novels. Their stares her way warned her that they had been let down gently in a way that was only his.

"Excuse me ladies, but the music has begun and my date here promised me a dance. I'm sure there will be time later for autographs, right dear?". She purred sweetly, smiling up at Eli with a wink. The woman began to mutter and protest their favorite author having to go but quieted as Eli began to apologize as Clare pulled him to the dance floor.

"Clare Diane Edwards did you just come pull me away because you were... gasp.. jealous?". Eli whispered into her ear as his arms wrapped around her carefully swaying to the music of the band.

"I was not!". She hotly denied with a laugh, shaking her coiffed curls with each little laugh that escaped her lips. "I do however have one small confession to tell you about. Well, actually two if truth be known. One, You speak wonderfully, and while I don't wish to give your ego a kick but it was a great speech you gave. Color me amazed.". She whispered as he swung her around gently.

"and the other?". He asked carefully, never sure about the things that could come out of her mouth when she gave it great thought.

"This is a more personal confession and it's in response to your question from earlier in the evening. I confess that it scares me more that I'll ever know to have this feeling in me since I was fifteen and that it's never gone away, even when I tried. Foolish as that was at the time, i'll never know. The only time that I regretted was walking away from a boy in a hospital bed after he got hurt and I believed that it was a way to manipulate me even now that I know it was a call for help.". She quieted for a moment before quietly beginning to speak again, " I left said boy to deal with demons and began to be selfish and hurt him again with antics that I am ashamed of now. He tried to get over me with writing and a muse who turned him away from the path that was less taken, but more sensible. I tried so hard to mend the bridges that I burned after realizing what I lost, not just with the boy but friends whom did nothing that others hadn't done to me before.".

"Clare...". Eli began to speak but she pressed one finger to his lips, smiling as he kissed the digit tenderly.

"Once I found out that I was wrong in both my views and ways the happiness came back and it was the best years. You see, the boy still loved me and it was so... so good to have that again in my life. Over the years, it's always been him and him alone who's held my heart. So, the question you asked earlier. I think I have an answer to it.".

She leaned into his chest and smiles as he began to grow a little nervous and restless against her body.

"Do tell?". He asked slowly pulling her tight against his own frame.

"The answer is yes, I would like to get back to what we had. However long it takes it would be worth it.". She said sweetly up at him well aware his look of shock was plain upon his face.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Eli's Pov**_

He glanced down at her with a look of pure speculation upon his features, not because she thought it was good to start again, but that she gave him an answer so quickly. Not that he wasn't pleased at all, he was more than pleased by he answer but he was worried she wanted to jump into this for some other reason.

"You... You do?". He stuttered quietly as a smile broke onto his face down into her eyes as they swayed in time to the music. She nodded quickly and layed her head against his shoulder gently with a little giggle.

"I know what your thinking and no this isn't a rash judgment on my part at all Goldsworthy. I've had years to think about what I would have wanted to say to you and I got them.. well I got a lot of them out to you already.". She quietly replied as her eyes closed gently melding into his embrace completely.

As Clare snuggled into his body, he couldn't help but think that in the time they had been together a dance was something that had been forgotten. Then again, he had screwed up at least two of those occasions for them by either his shenanigans or stupidity. This time around would be different because they are already over the bump with the ball, and he hoped that the drama that followed their adolescent selves around would be diminished.

"I am honored that you are allowing me another chance with you, and while I can't promise that drama won't be in our lives, I will promise to enjoy this time. I won't have any expectations up front, but will be willing to allow this all to take the time it needs.". He whispered into her curls as his lips pressed against her head kissing them lightly. The lilac scent that had always enveloped her crashed into his senses almost knocking him over in remembrance.

Clare glanced up at him with a soft, gentle smile that erased all the doubts that crossed his mind the last few days. Her blue eyes twinkled happily as she brushed her lips against his gently at first, but then tentatively began to devour his with all the passion that she felt in that moment. The music began to change as they pulled apart with a laugh as they moved from the floor before another couple trampled them. Eli grasped her hand lightly as they walked to the tables holding the items to be auctioned off.

"You are worth it, you know?". Clare began softly taking his hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly. "Just for reference that one time you asked me if I believed in love at first sight and I said no, as I recall. Perhaps that was a lie, because I was in love with you then as I am now. This is why it was easy to give you an answer. It was a shock, I know because your face told me, but understand that the risk is worth it all.".

The smile that flickered across her lips calmed his racing heart that threatened to burst from it's confined deep in his body. He could only follow her through the crowds as she began to look over each of the items that were up for auction with a critical eye. He wasn't sure of what she was saying to him for several moments as his head replayed the last few minutes over and over.

"...lovely gift for Adam.". Claire said to him pointing to a small gift certificate to a local gaming business. Eli shook his head coming out of the reverie that her confession had put him in to smile at her quickly. He watched as she began to wander around speaking to a few of the people that swarmed around the edges of the ballroom. He took two of the champagne flutes from a passing waiter as Clare turned to look at him with an inquiring look as he held up the glasses.

"Go bid for that gift and then we shall have us a little time back at the table. Don't know about you dear, but my feet don't much like dancing but I can imagine yours are used to the hours of standing,". He smirked as she reached for the glass in his hands, sipping the light liquid with a little giggle as the bubbles reached her nose. "Nor alcohol still it seems,. Edwards, You predictable minx.". He shooed her towards the bidding papers and waited till she made her way back to him as they moved towards the table together.

…...

Hours later as the ball was winding down, Eli sat watching Clare float across the dance floor with Adam. While he wasn't a good dance sometime in those years Adam had some training and could do what he couldn't. Not that it bothered him because Adam was their best friend and the only man he truly trusted Clare with. His eyes flickered critically as he watched the delicate material of the dress Clare wore billow as she spun, the laughter he supposed was breathless as he couldn't hear it over the music but would never forget the sound.

"You may devour her whole if you don't watch it Goldsworthy.". Drew intoned drolly next to him, grinning at the look on Eli's face with a little cackle. "I promise I won't tell anyone. But, I do have to ask one question to you if that's permitted. Author's such as yourself, from what I hear, tend to keep their lives all akimbo. From what Adam tells me you both were estranged for years and now you look like your on the road to a wedding. What gives?".

Eli glanced at his best friends brother with a slight smirk upon his lips as his shoulders struggled to shrug under the scrutiny. " Did Bianca let you look at the dictionary again? Didn't realize there were pictures in there now, guess I should look at one every once in a while.". He laughed as Drew frowned at the insult but he kept on speaking, "Actually, I guess there are some authors who value their aloofness but I have never been one of those types. I just found myself never coming back here much. I've seen you often enough Torres, so I know you don't miss me. As for what we, Clare and I, have going on it's between us. Things happen, as I'm sure you know when relationships have rocky ground. I recall you having some of those problems years ago with your darling wife.".

Drew sighed deeply as his eyes cut to where the woman they were discussing was speaking to his mother and another woman on the school board. He shrugged in response and glanced back at Eli with arched brows. It had been always painfully clear even back in school that Drew wasn't blessed with brains as much as he was the doer of the two Torres brothers.

"No worries man, Adam said you were working on it. Good enough for him then good enough for me. As for rocky, lets just say that sometimes that relationship was on sand and no rock. Luckily, I was smart enough to know when I had a good thing and held on for dear life with her. She's a firecracker, but she's mellowed as an adult and now she's carved the life she wanted with me and the kiddos. Wouldn't change that for the world.". Drew commented with a grin, sipping the amber liquid in his glass slowly.

Just as he was going to give an answer to Drew's words the two dancers came back to the table and he was suddenly filled with the heady fragrance of what is Clare. Her hands slid into his automatically almost causing him to spill the champagne straight into her lap but at the last second his mind began to calm averting the crisis at hand.

"Watch it there buster!". Clare admonished with a little giggle on her lips, clearly the alcohol she imbued earlier was still in the system. "This is an expensive dress after all!".

"Must not mess it then should we?". He whispered into her ear as she settled on his lap much to the surprise of the occupants of the table. He knew they were speculating on just what was occurring but he wasn't going to let this night end if she was this open, then so be it. Adam glanced between the two of them quickly trying very hard to hold back laughter.

Fuck.

Please don't begin to squirm, he thought to himself as she moved just so slightly applying pressure against their bodies. She was far too busy speaking to Bianca across the table to witness the look of sheer helplessness that began to trick down his face as his body began to respond to her pressing against him, wiggling just so with each laugh.

"Clare, You might want to stop squirming just so, else I won't be able to move for quite a while without embarrassing anyone.". He leaned into her to whisper ever so slightly, his voice thick hoping she got the point, and quickly. Her eyes widening in realization as she stilled and nodded without vocalizing the predicament that her body had done.

Her cheeks began to grow rosy as she glanced back at him with a smile, blue eyes flickering down for just that second to his lap. He smirked at the red that began to creep down to her neck and only he knew what that meant, she wasn't embarrassed but trying to hide her interest in him. The first time this happened was after filming hat little Romeo and Juliet film for English class and even back then she had a hard time hiding her emotions from him.

…...

_**Clare's Pov**_

This was almost too easy, she thought to herself as she settled upon Eli's lap with no resistance from the man himself. As a man there was never not a time where a woman's presence there would be disregarded, she supposed. A few wiggles and he was already beginning to become distracted she found after his words fell upon her ears. The blush that bloomed against her skin gave away the need that began to build deep within couldn't be contained. He would spot it, she knew, and give himself that mental pat on the back by trying to be the gentleman, she suspected.

Fuck.

This was not where she wanted to begin anything that wouldn't be finished by dawn. Nor did she believe that she would want to sleep with him again this quick, but when it came to Elijah Goldsworthy, all bets were off.

Double Fuck.

Her vision rose from the green eyes of the man she was attempting to torture to a couple that was gliding towards them. When he abrupt movement caught Eli off guard his own gaze caught where she was currently focusing on and stilled himself.

"Clare, I'm sorry.. I should have known they would show up eventually.". He growled soundlessly against her curls as she set her onto the chair besides his, only the small pout on her lips gave away the need that still clung to her thighs from their proximity moments ago.

"Eli, wait.". She spoke quickly, shaking her head already knowing what was brewing within his mind. "Let me handle this,". She said with a shake of her curls as she stood, bracing her palms against the table. His eyes glanced at her legs with a smirk before waving a hand in agreement.

She gave him a quick smile watching as he sat back down on the chair, blue eyes turned to cast a glance at the two whom they just spoke of with a soft, sad sigh on her lips. The stood nervously glancing at those still at the table, hoping that it would be safe to approach but kept their space, waiting if need be to flee at a moments notice.

Clare moved towards the two women with a grace that she, herself, had not known existed before. The champagne, in the end, had helped her out more than she would ever have known, till now. The smile was genuine which surprised the two before with as they sighed together, even if they didn't quite know they had.

"Fiona and Imogen, how nice to see you both on such a lovely evening.". She began quietly, holding up one hand to quiet their voices. "Let me just say what I have to say and then you can speak. Forgive me for being slightly rude at that but if I don't continue I may lose the words I had prepared last night. I won't go into specifics here in public about the last decade of my life. That withstanding, Imogen, you may have not realized all the hurt you caused in not only my life, but Elijah's when you chose to be selfish but the past is the past. I will forgive you, for now. You may think I'm foolish, and I may be.". She shrugged.

"oh, Clare... This, is.. was most unexpected.". Fiona began tentatively with Imogen beginning to nod along with the words.

"I'm not done, but thank you.". Clare contined keeping her voice soft, almost husky with emotion, "In the end it's not my words that you need, for you weren't my friends in school and that was always fine to me, because you don't always need to be friends with your significant others. You will need to find your forgiveness with Eli, because deep down he was the one who got the short end of the stick. For his sake, only his mind you, this is finished between us. We do crazy things for love when it looks as if it's been taken from us, no?".

The two women looked at each other, hands clasped tightly together as they nodded towards Clare with faint, regretful smiles etched onto red stained lips. Each of them moved just a little closer to Clare, their shoulders turned in as if the tension was lessening with her forgiveness.

"We will speak of this tomorrow night, yes?". Clare said sweetly, the strain starting to fray the edges of the plasticine smile she held in place. "I will make sure that Eli comes early to speak to you, Imogen.".

Clare didn't wait for either of the women to begin to speak instead spun on her heels and moved back towards the table with her head held high, but the smile fell from her face.

…...

As soon as she reached the table his hands gently cupped and elbow leaning in to kiss on her curls again, gently whispering into her ears just quietly trying to lend her some of his quiet confidence. Without even saying a word to her it was the most comfort that she'd ever received. Her palms slid around him pulling herself against his body slightly into a hug wanting to feel the heat he radiated.

"Time to go Cinderella.". He urged lightly cupping her chin with his hands pulling her face up into the light with a smile.

They quickly made their goodbyes to those around the table and smiles towards each other. As soon as the doors closed behind them the laughter bubbled from her lips causing him to pull her closer to him. The lobby stood silent as they began to walk towards the doors that stood between them at the night outside.

"So, are there anymore tricks up your sleeve rabbit?". She asked him quietly as they stood before a block of windows that gave a view of the city at night, the twinkling lights soothed her frayed emotions.

His fingers reached out to grasp hers gently pulling her closer to his side. The heat that always came off of him anytime they touched was reassuring after having to deal with someone that she had hoped to not have to see. When he began to tug her to move she glanced at him with a frown, unsure as to what he was planning.

"I wasn't sure if this was going to be part of the evening, but I think it's time that we did talk by ourselves for a while if you don't mind?". He asked seriously as she nodded towards him with a quiet look. He responded with his own nod motioning towards the bank of elevators. " We can talk under the stars in my room if that is acceptable, if not then we go where you wish.".

She pulled away from him with a soft sigh and smiled as she walked towards the door with a soft laugh on her lips again, "Your acting awful formal with me Goldsworthy, and I'm not sure why. C'mon". She called out, hearing the echo across the lobby as she walked before him, hips swaying slowly for his benefit.

He could only do one that and that was to follow her wherever she wanted to go.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: I don't have a beta reader, so if there are things wrong, sorry! I don't own Degrassi (clearly!)**_.

_**Clare's Pov**_

Eli opened the double doors of the suite slowly pulling her into the room and into the security of knowing it would be just them for as long as she wished, per his instructions of course. The only thing that had never changed was that he wanted to protect her, even from himself at times and that gave her serenity to know it would always be this way. What she didn't quite know was he had planned this from the start, and when her eyes lit upon the room it became abundantly clear. The scent tickled her nose before she even seen the multitude of white and red roses that filled the sitting room along with twinkling candles that cast a dim, yet lovely air around.

Twinkly lights. Always the twinkly lights.

_It won't always be twinkly lights, Clare._

She had remembered that conversation every day since it came up back in junior year, when they finally had matured enough to decide to give it another shot. It hadn't been completely drama free but no relationship ever had been in her mind but it took work on either side, and it had. He'd remembered.

"Twinkly lights.". He whispered into her hair as his body pressed against hers tenderly, arms wrapping around her midsection with the utmost care. She shivered from the contact but chose to snuggle back against him with a laugh.

"Same as it was then, as it is now. However, I wouldn't have to say the ball is in your court because I know where it is now. I do have to ask what you said to Fiona and Imogen, because I'm curious of the looks they gave me as you walked back to the table.".

The only sound that echoed the room for several minutes after he spoke was the sigh that escaped her lips. Turning in his arms her eyes sought hers quickly before the smile formed up at him.

"I told them pretty much the same thing that I told you a few nights ago. My forgiveness to them isn't as much as yours would be for you are their friends and I never was. Which, is true and that's all well and good in my world. We didn't hang out unless you were there and even then our conversations revolved around something you were doing. So, for me to tell them it's okay... well it is. You are the one they need to convince, for you were their friend from pretty much day one. I do wish, however, that you do tell them the whole story because it's something that needs to be discussed. We all do things we aren't proud of.". Clare countered quietly with a smile up at him, remembering some of the shenanigans that he chose to associate himself with and their consequences at the time. When he nodded she smiled again one hand reaching up to touch his face.

"If I said that I would like your opinion of what I should do, what would you say?". He mused quietly kissing her palm gently.

"As I've said before, That sometimes it's worse to walk around with anger because it just eats you up. I, um, learned that when I went to speak to the therapist you had. Since she wasn't aware of the secret I carried, then it's not something that should be counted. I'm still not sure what we would have done had..". She shrugged and turned away slightly glancing out at the stars begin watching them begin to shine down over the inky black night. "I'll leave it up to you if you want to include that part in the tale to her. Naturally, I trust your judgment, always have.".

Clare felt him step away from her proximity for several minutes as her eyes drifted out at the night sky not bothering to look at the reflection in the glass to see what he was doing. She could hear things from time to time as he moved about the room. She wondered if she had in some way disappointed him with her revelations from the past few days.

She glanced over her shoulder quickly accessing the situation and found that he was engaged in making something at the bar. Shaking her head she pushed the sliding glass doors open and made her way onto the patio that looked out over the city proper. There were chairs and steps that led up to a small, but elaborate hot tub hidden among some palms that gave privacy to anyone using it.

Instead, she moved to the edge of the patio to look down at the traffic that moved by the hotel towards other places in the city. She could only imagine that some of the people were coming from the ball, and now going either home or to another establishment to finish out their evening.

"You should have told me that you were coming out here Edwards.". Eli called out as he stepped onto the patio, two glasses in his hands.

"I feared you were upset with my words, you stepped away as soon as I said something...". She trailed off as he shook his head quickly. Stepping closer towards her with a sigh, handing the glass into her waiting fingers.

"No, you were right about it all you know? As for the child we lost, I think it's best we don't tell her about that not because I wish to give her more to fret over, but it's our business. Maybe one day we can trade that sad memory for a new one. Let's not speak about the rest of that for the evening.". He mused with a smirk upon his lips as he began to sip the liquid in the glass, green eyes glinting over the rim at her. The blush began to creep up her cheeks quickly as she laughed at his antics.

"Thank you, and Indeed.". She whispered taking a sip of the liquid and laughed as she tasted it. "You play with fire Goldsworthy,". She teased, tipping back the glass again draining the champagne into her waiting mouth.

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

"I play no games with you Edwards, perhaps you believe I am.. However, this isn't a game. To say it's a game would confer that I would be willing to lose in the long run and I wouldn't want to, lose that is.". He admitted with a slight smirk across his lips. They both knew what he was not saying, that he would never want to take the chance to lose what was being re-built. In fact, if he could give her one thing to make it better would be what she lost but if he voiced that she may run away, so best not vocalize that for some time.

"No, I know you too well to believe that you truly play a game, but perhaps it's more teasing that you are doing. You aren't an open book, never have been, even to me. Most of the boys were easy to at least understand but you, no, you made it virtually impossible to even begin to follow.". She recalled with her own smirk up at him.

Eli's lips twitched in response to her words, thinking that sometimes it's best not to be an open book when it came to the opposite sex. Especially, to him, when it came to matters of intimacy. There were times back when he was a teenager that women were the ultimate mystery, but he's since realized that women weren't as complex is they thought they were. When he turned around to grab the bottle of champagne to refill the glass there was a soft echo of laughter followed by the gentle whisper of water splashing.

"Clare, What are...". The words died on his lips seeing the crumpled mass of fabric laying on one of the deck chairs followed by the delicate heels turned over. He frantically glanced around the area almost dropping the glass in his hands till the tinkle of soft laughter drew his gaze towards the grouping of palm trees.

"Of course you would do something illogical wouldn't you?". He muttered as his gaze flickered back down to the dress letting the idea of that finally sink into his head.

Fuck, Just Fuck.

Images of soft skin began to fill his already overheated mind as he moved slowly toward the sound of the water. His eyes widened as he leaned in slightly to just peer into the canopy stealthily, almost creepily hoping she wouldn't catch him watching. As his eyes cleared he knew she wasn't going to catch him, but he wasn't sure he didn't want her to know he was watching.

The steam rose from the surface of the water in the whirlpool creating a heady atmosphere that Clare sat amid, clearly without a stitch of clothing. Her eyes were closed serenely amid the humid atmosphere, the only sound that came from her was soft sighs that would escape her parted lips every so often. His only response was to step back for a moment before he did something alarming.

Fuck.

He moved back towards the chair that held her dress and picked it up tenderly to hold. The fabric brushed against his fingertips like a whisper into a dark, quiet room causing him to shudder with need. Groaning as the dress dropped back onto the chair as he began to quickly shed his own clothing intent on joining her in this game, that she was so intent on playing.

…...

He stood in the archway of the small area that held the whirlpool watching her again, waiting for her to realize that he found her. However, after a few minutes he decided to move forward closer to her. Leaning against the wooden frame close to her ear he breathed.

"You do like running from me, don't you?". He whispered as she almost jumped from the water, eyes opening in alarm.

"Holy...". She sputtered, splashing some of the water around as her curls bounced wetly the water distorting her view for just a moment while he slipped beside her. His arms wrapped around her midsection pulling their bodies close to each other.

"Edwards, naked in a hot tub? Do mine eyes deceive me? No, wait I seem to recall a night in my pool after you graduated.". He remembered that night quite well when it ended with a ring on the nightstand. Her blush was the only answer that she was going to give him, but he knew it well enough to say she remembered.

"Very funny Eli, How could I not take advantage of this". She swept outstretched hands over the water gently, giggling softly but not realizing that her movements brought the tips of her breasts up into his eyesight. He knew she had that critical self-body image that she'd always had, which bothered him as long as he knew her. Sure, she'd never been the waif, but what she had he always loved. His gaze flickered over the coral tips slowly watching them begin to tighten as his own blood began to heat up from the mental images playing in his mind.

_She's still so beautiful, Fuck. _

There were times in the years since he thought fondly of her beguiling modest ways, unlike other girls that he knew. Understanding how she was brought up was one of the ways he was able to slowly change her self-image. Still, He wouldn't change a thing about her.

"So you're using me for this luxury?". He asked cockily trying very hard to look hurt as he moved closer to her, feeling the push of the bubbles against his body.

"Would that be so terrible, if I said yes?". She teased quickly before his arms wrapped around her waist lifting her slightly onto his lap. The familiar press of flesh to flesh brought back imagines of nights long gone, the smirk returned to his lips as a little 'o' formed against her lips at the friction. The soft, unfocused glaze of her eyes told the hold story to him even without her vocalizing anything.

"It would be terrible, but we both know what the answer is. I'm glad you came up tonight, and we don't have to do anything but sit here and relax. You know, that, I would never have you do..". He was silenced by one of her fingers pressing against his lips, a quick smile lifting her lips. He kissed the digit lightly, his tongue flicking it teasingly as she began to laugh softly.

"You've never pressured me, even when it pained you Eli, so no need to vocalize anything like that. There were times I wondered... wondered if you would get tired of waiting. Yet, you stayed and I never once had to wonder if you would cheat. You weren't Romeo, nor was I Juliet but it was enough, wasn't it?". She asked quietly resting her back against his chest gently, pulling his arms around her in a quiet manner bringing a genuine smile to his lips for once.

Eli laughed softly at her words, knowing that they came from an innocent place, and while there were always women that would flirt with him now it wasn't always that way. Sure, after high school the women had no clue of his past and would try, but he never seen any of them but for colleagues or friends. No, they weren't those star crossed lovers but something else, more if you would. Perhaps if he could peg down the couple they would be most like he found them akin to Jane Austen novels, those which Clare always adored but he found full of prose. Either way, he reasoned, once he found Clare there wasn't another woman who could hold a candle to how she made him feel. Even Julia, whom he had loved but now knew that what they shared was just a childhood love, perhaps in time they would have faded to being friends whom shared the love, but would have found others in time.

"No, Romeo and Juliet were tragic.. We had tragedy, but learned from those mistakes. As for your wonderment, I don't have enough words to explain just how much that wouldn't have ever happened. Sexual frustration aside, which did occur because you reveled in the times of being so terribly teasing. Nude Photos, not withstanding, there were times that I did things to shake the mental images of you but even then it was worth the risk.". He slid his hands along her stomach gently, pressing her against him more fully to kiss the soft velvety skin of her neck, nuzzling it lightly as she began to softly squeal.

When she didn't respond to his words he began to slide his fingers lightly down against her stomach, tickling the area knowing it was one of the most sensitive. It produced the desired effect as she began to squirm atop him eliciting soft, panting gasps from her as his desire became noticeable to not only her, but him as well. His hands ached to cup her breasts but he wanted her to know that this moment wasn't the only thing he wanted from her.

"Eli, Clare... Where are you?". A voice called out from beyond the little sanctuary that they were in. Eli swore under his breath and glanced towards Clare with a sigh, apologizing with his eyes. She grinning and rose from the water winking at him.

"I'll get it... You, ah, calm down there bucko.". She laughed grabbing one of the robes that sat next to the whirlpool and slipped it on before disappearing beneath the foliage thereby ending the moment he had wanted so bad.

…...


	12. Chapter 12

_**Clare's POV**_

Her fingers quickly reached for the ties of the robe not quite pulling it closed to view knowing full well that Eli's eyes were watching intently from the whirlpool. The husky growl that emerged from his parted lips answered any questions that were lingering about how her body was. She heard the voice call again and answered as loudly as she could before turning to look back at Eli.

"Now who's playing with Fire?". He muttered eying the skin along her upper thigh with interest.

_Fuck, this is insanity._

He could only gape at the pale, yet luminous skin that stood before him so different from the girl he viewed naked so long ago. One hand slid down towards her stomach, lightly brushing against the still wet skin as he could only groan before she closed the robe firmly and disappeared out of his view. Her footfalls quickly took her back into the open area of the patio in full view of the bank of windows seeing the two people standing close to each other talking quietly, waiting for someone to show up. She quickly cursed under her breath realizing who stood there.

Since they hadn't noticed her there she quickly picked up the clothing scattered around, settling them on a chair. She heard the rustling behind her and waited for Eli to emerge from the hideout.

_The universe was against her, she was sure of it._

"I don't think they are here for me..". Clare quipped in an odd voice causing Eli to look up from the task before him with a sigh. She didn't even have to see his face to know the state he was in already. "Go on, let me pick up the clothing and maybe by then you won't be so peckish.". She soothed with a frown, not wanting to even step foot into the room until they were gone.

"Oh no, that is not how this is going to go down Edwards. If you aren't in there after five minutes just be prepared to be tied to the bed for the rest of the evening. You know as well as I do that this isn't a jest.". He uttered towards her with no trace of joking in his voice, which would have normally made her be cheeky, but this time it was somewhat serious. Maybe she's listen, but maybe she wouldn't.

…...

She took six minutes.

_Fuck._

It was apparent that he had been watching the clock the moment she decided to step into the suite's antechamber. His emerald eyes glittered with unsaid words towards her before he looked back at the visitors with a sigh on his lips causing her to shiver and press against the door frame with a little frown. Her eyes glanced up to watch everyone in the room with a silent liquidity that was so unlike her normal countenance.

"So, why the sudden need to come here tonight even after I told you all that we would have a discussion tomorrow evening?".

Clare glanced between the four who stood in the room now, three of them in what could be defined as a classic defensive pose, arms crossed frowns upon their faces.

"Normally I would have want to agree with you Eli, but she's not in a good way. I'm quite worried about her, and while You may be upset I know you would worry as well if something was to happen to her, most especially now,". Fiona worriedly quipped glancing at the silent woman by her side glancing down at the marble floors.

Clare glanced at Adam with a worried look seeing how crestfallen he appeared, and then she understood that he brought them to the room. Perhaps not knowing that she would still be here but to speak to Eli, so she started to quietly move towards the main bedroom of the suite not wanting to interrupt. A cough captured her attention and found him shaking his head at her actions.

"Is everything okay?". Clare asked suddenly towards Imogen who continued to stare at the floor disinterestedly. She moves forward to stand next to the two women ignoring the men in the room for a moment as her hands clasp both of theirs in support, frowning as she notices the tears in both of their eyes.

"Please sit, and tell us all what is wrong. Never mind them, tell me what is going on?". Clare glanced up at Eli and Adam with a frown feeling the tension that was coming off of them in waves.

"This was part of the reason we were going to throw the party tomorrow night, mind you only three knew of this specific reason, but as it is we decided it was time to start a family. It was a tough go there for almost a year but we found out three weeks ago that it was successful..". Fiona trailed off glancing at Imogen with a concerned look, patting the others hand in a loving gesture.

"This stress isn't good I can imagine,". Clare confessed with a small smile seeing Fiona nod in agreement. "The baby is okay, right?".

"Yes, so far but I'm just worried that all of this is going to be a determent and I thought that maybe if we just sat down now and talked it over, or at least let Eli have his say that her stress level could go down. It's important for a woman carrying to not have any undue stress upon the fetus after all. As I've said that she's accepted she's done wrong and if that means You'd rather not speak to her, or me again then...". Fiona stopped when Clare shook her head gently.

"No, it's not good for a woman who's pregnant to have any undue stress upon any part of their body,". Clare said gently glancing at Imogen with a soft, almost inaudible sigh. "This is something I have history with, I must confess".

Clare could heard Eli's grown of disapproval from behind but shook her head stopping any words that would come from him. Grasping Imogen's hand gently into hers and squeezed tenderly. The other woman finally looked up into her eyes, the look on her face almost-heartbroken and in that she knew that she could truly forgive.

"I must confess something to you that no one but myself and Eli, although recently didn't know, but after I came back from New York... Well, to the chaos of my family emergency and it sort of preoccupied me and that can make you forget things but in the midst of it all I realized I was pregnant...". Clare glanced down at her hands hearing everyone but Eli began to gasp at her confession. She glanced up with a sad smile on her lips.

"I hadn't realized it till it was almost too late to help, the stress of my grandmother lying in a bed dying didn't help and I just thought I was feeling run down, but about a week after she passed I lost the baby. Granted, the stress from not hearing from Eli and then her passing shut my body down. Had I known that I didn't hear from him not because of anything I did, well anyway I had to hide that from everyone. The doctor told me the stress didn't help but it wasn't why.. why... why I lost it.".

Clare looked over to the two females and watched their faces fall in sympathy but she shook her head again at them.

"Please, don't cry. I leaned long ago that sometimes there are other plans for everyone, and I suppose it wasn't the right time for me to be a mother. You, however Imogen, must not let the stresses get to you. I forgive you, and I'm sure that Eli will too. You are one of his good friends, and therefor must in time allow his anger to cool. Your child is the most important right now, more so, if this is a high risk one.". Clare said gently, still rubbing the other woman's hand. Imogen began to nod, but the only sounds that came from her were quiet sobbing.

"I didn't realize just how much.. Hurt that I did, and then I've been eaten up with guilt for years over it. More in the years since I realized how much I love Fi, but thank you for forgiving me. I know we never were friends, and I did do things to you in high school that were horrible.".

"No worse than I was on myself back then, believe me when I say that there were things I had to work on. Can't say that I don't look back and cringe at what I did... Jake, taking on the hockey team. I can't claim to ever be the saint people called me.". Clare said sardonically, a slight smirk forms along her lips. Imogen's soft laugh bring a full smile to her lips.

The three women smiled at each other, quite content in that they cleared up a little of the drama within themselves. Imogen leaned over to quickly hug Clare, which brought a gasp to the other woman's lips. It wasn't that she didn't want her to touch her, but it was unexpected but not unwanted. The coughs from the men however became unwanted as they looked up to see four sets of eyes wide and unblinking.

"Honestly don't know what you want me to say now that the saint has cleared you.". Eli said sarcastically drawing a frown from Clare whom looked up at him with wide eyes. "May I speak frankly?".

When no one bothered to respond, perhaps from fear that he would strike out at them for responding he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck lightly. His eyes usually bright were full of the dark that surrounded the suites bank of windows. This wasn't unusual for someone whom clearly loved to write dark and foreboding stories and made a damn good deal at it. He swore lightly and strode forward to kneel next to Clare.

"When I was first told of this I had a lot of blame inside me for you Imo, but as the saint here has said there was a lot going on then that no one could have dreamed would happen. I can't blame you for the miscarriage, as it stands that it would have maybe happened regardless of everything. I can however blame you for electing to go ahead with something so vile as to cause me, and Clare pain. It was foolish and had no good outcome. We didn't end up together, nor did anyone find happiness till now. Am I mad? Fuck, yes I am. I will be for some time, but I won't blame you, nor cause you any undue stress because I fear Fiona would set a hit man on me. I'd like to keep myself alive and all.". Eli reached out to take one of Imogens hands in his, squeezing it lightly.

Clare glanced up to watch Adam's expression as Eli began to speak and smiles, seeing the fierce loyalty that was held in his eyes. Somehow through it all, the years that is, Adam kept only Eli's best interests at heart.

"Adam?". She called out gently watching him snap out of the reverie that he seemed to be within. When he smiled at her, she motioned for him to come and sit. "Are you okay?".

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for bringing them up here but they insisted after the ball was over. Fiona can be pushy when she needs be. I tried to explain to them that you, well Eli, because I wasn't sure what was going on with you two. Eli had given me a key to bring up somethings, and well..". He began to fidget as she laughed, shaking her head.

"Adam, Shut up. You're babbling, and it's okay." Eli commented towards his friend, watching as Adam drifted towards one of the overstuffed chairs and settled down comfortably for once.

…...

Once the group started really conversing it really helped to clear up a lot of the hurt and anger that seemed to stem from every sin that was cast upon them. Clare quietly moved across the room quickly settling in next to Adam, her arms pulling him in for a hug. He was never one to not take comfort where it was given and hugged her back with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?". Adam whispered in her ear as she pulled away.

"Do you remember when I called up to ask you why he wasn't responding to anything? Yes, well that would be the answer. As for why I didn't share the news, it was still new and I wasn't even sure what I was going to do.". She answered quietly back at him. "I still don't know what I would have done if... if".

Adam nodded in understanding at her words, not even knowing what he would have done himself in that time. There was guilt that rose to the surface after how everyone deterred Clare from getting a hold of Eli in the days and months after, but not knowing the truth caused them to try to help Eli.

"You don't have to explain it now Clare, at least not to me. I should apologize to you.". His head rested on her shoulder as she began to laugh lightly, patting him gently.

"I don't need apologizes from you ever, Adam. You did what you had to do, and that was to help him. I do have to ask,". She glanced up seeing Eli and the girls busy speaking to not pay attention and nodded to herself, "Did you ever believe that I would send an email to breaking up with someone?".

He glanced at her with a thoughtful frown, shaking his head quickly, "No, but then when no one could get a hold of you it did cause some concern. We all did what we could to help him. He did get through it with us, and other things.". Her brows arched at his last statement, but she chose to not ask fearing she knew some of the answers.

Clare snuggled up close to Adam with a soft sigh watching the other three speak to each other. She had wanted to ask Adam about certain things she read in Eli's books, knowing that he would be evasive and those around him may not be closed to speaking about it.

Fiona glanced their way with a smile while helping Imogen up from the couch. Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears as she made her way to the two of them and sighed with a little smile.

"I just wanted to thank you both. It's not much when someone says sorry without the words behind it. Believe me when I say that I am sorry this all happened, and knowing Imo as well as I do.. Well, she's sorry as well. I hope that we can overcome it all and come out as friends. It means a lot of us that we are, friends that is. I need to get her home so she can eat, relax and sleep. She's not done either of those things in the last few days, I'm afraid.". Fiona stated with a smile, blowing them both kisses as Imogen walked up beside her with a small smile. Adam pressed a kiss to Clare's forehead and stood to join them as they said their goodbyes and quickly left the suite as quietly as they arrived.

…...

_**Eli's POV **_

He turned as soon as the click could be heard from the door closing behind the three who came to talk to the both of them. Eli counted to ten and turned to glance at Clare whom was laying against the couch with her eyes closed in a relaxed state. Images came unbidden to his mind featuring her in his bed, tied up and thrashing against the bindings. He threatened it, and yet while he wanted so much to have it come true, things like that may scare her away. It wasn't as if he was going to do a fifty shades on her, oh no, he wasn't that ridiculous nor was that his style. One of the professors told the class that they couldn't rightly put words to paper if they didn't have a small measure of what was being discussed, so therefor he took classes to understand certain matters that he was attracted to.

His eyes ran the breadth of her frame trying to memorize what he could see which wasn't hidden by the plush robe. Emerald eyes flickered up towards her face to see if she was even aware he was so close to her, but she was lost in her own thoughts as it seemed. Quickly his hands grasped her waist pulling her up and over his shoulder before she would respond he moved towards the bedroom in long strides. Her squeals filled the chamber's walls to no avail.

"You may want to not scream so loud Edwards, hate to have someone come interrupt us again. Be a good girl and quiet down, it's not like I'm going to hurt you. However, I do believe I said five minutes and you sauntered in at six. Math may not have been my most beloved subject, but I can add quite well. Remember what I said to you?". His words were dark, and filled with promise allowing her the time to think about her next action. When she was silent she felt him drop her on the bed, one finger was pointed at her. Clare blinked but kept quiet, body stilled as her eyes raised to look at his face.

"I remember well, but I do declare that I hadn't believed you for one second to be so, cruel.". Her voice trembled slightly, white teeth nibbling on the full bottom lip as her breath begins to hitch.

"Cruel, no. Never that, but I asked something of you and you chose to not listen. Tsk, Tsk. Would I do what I threatened, absolutely. Will It hurt you? Probably not, don't be that foolish to think that I would want to ever hurt you. Will I do it?". He challenged intently leaning down to grasp one of her ankles pulling her back closer to him.

"Will You do what?". She challenged back, eyes slightly narrowed in thought watching the fingers along her leg intently.

His growl was the only response that echoed against the walls of the suite, causing her to whimper in protest as he pulled he farther down the bed flipping her over in the process tangling the rob against her upper thighs. Before she could protest his hands pulled the fabric up towards her waist revealing her bottom to his eyes and hands.

"I'll do this...". He growled again bringing his hand down to her ass sharply, causing her to bounce off the bed. "and this...". He whispered darkly repeating the gesture twice more before he stopped and looked at the pale flesh now lightly pink from contact. When he didn't hear anything from her he moved back slightly waiting for her reaction. The blood within him surged hotly, the ache beginning to strain against the robe.

The moment she glanced back at him with the eyes of someone whom wasn't afraid of what just occurred, but seemed to be provoking with the mere glance. Auburn tresses brushed down against the curve of her cheeks obscuring her view from his gaze temporarily. The rustle of the sheet against her flesh captured his attention again, bringing him out of the haze he entered moments ago.

"Again..". She breathed in a hushed voice.

_Fuck_


	13. Chapter 13

_AN: Thank you to those whom have commented on this story, while I'm not writing for the adulation, it's mainly the story that I've had in my head for quite some time. So, for those whom are still reading this, thank you! Sorry about the delay of the chapter, been busy but I'll have some more out this week!_

Clare's Pov

Blue eyes peeked out from behind the curtain of russet colored curls that hung in front of her face preventing Eli from truly seeing the expression that graced her face. Her words still vibrated throughout the room raising the tension that seemed to reverberate the moment they stepped past the threshold.

"Again...". She breathed again, lips parting of their own accord allowing her pink tongue to flicker out against her dry lips. This was playing with fire, she thought remembering his words from earlier. Well, so be it because if this was playing then she was glad to do so. Moments later her skin is once again inflamed as his hand connects several more times with the soft rounded skin of her bottom.

"Perhaps I'm not the only one who's embraced more to life?". Eli whispers in her ear after several minutes, the sting still upon her flesh as she begins to stir from the tangle of bed clothing.

Perhaps it's not the time to mention that she's not embraced anything, yet, having seen the new fiction books out there that did explore this dark fantasy made her be more brave. Instead it was the want to feel his hands back upon her body that made her become braver than even, still not something she was wont to say out loud.

Clare turned over onto the bed wincing slightly at the still tender flesh settling along the linen sheets upon the bed. Thighs tucked together modestly hiding the view of her female flesh from his eyes as the shy smile emerges from her lips when she notices the smirk upon his face. She wanted to tell him what she wanted from him but the words failed to emerge from her lips, the stunned silence stood between them.

"This was the day I never thought would ever come to pass, Edwards at a loss for words. Have I stunned you that much?". Eli quipped sardonically down at her quietly letting one finger slide down along the junction of her thighs, tapping ever so slightly for them to open.

"Elijah...". She whimpered tightly arching off the bed towards his hands involuntarily pressing the warmed skin against his hands. His lips curved again in satisfaction hearing her voice more than the actions that went along. "Please.".

"Please, What?". He taunted pulling his hand back away from her body, fingers wrapping around one of the posts on the bed. One inky brow arches in question down at her waiting to her the words from her. The sigh of frustration echoes around the room turning in on her own words.

Rising from the tangled mess of the bedsheets, Clare feels her stomach flutter from the intensity of Eli's gaze upon her naked flesh. The only thoughts that stick in her brain is the want to feel him pressed up against her again, not even in the act of sex but the intimacy of just knowing she can feel his body close to hers. Yet, she wouldn't imagine explaining that to a man, let alone him. Before he can react she reaches out and grips the robe with both hands, pulling herself close to the end of the bed against him. Her lips tenderly slide across his with a soft, sweet kiss that effected both of them equally.

"Elijah,". She whispered against his lips lovingly. "Tonight just make love to me, we can leave the other things for later. Much, Much later.".

…...

_**Eli's Pov**_

The room was silent for several seconds as he stood next to the bed looking down at her kneeling upon the mattress. Emerald eyes glimmered dangerously as the words she spoke sunk into his brain evoking mental images of just what he really wanted to do to her, but he knew if all of those fantasies were to be done it may scare her truly.

"Is that what you really want?". He drawled watching as she moved back upon the bed, eyes lowered in perfect submission but he knew it wasn't that she was nervous.

Clare looked up under her lashes, blue eyes glistening in the dim light that shown through the windows. The smile that curved his lips was almost predatory towards her causing a soft gasp to emerge from her parted lips. He moved to crawl upon the bed towards her reclining figure with a laugh of his own.

"You look so scared, but you shouldn't be because there is never anything in this world that would make me hurt you. This, between us, isn't anything to be afraid of and you know it.". He whispered crawling up against her with a little purr to his lips as they brushed against hers tenderly as his hands began to slide down her skin, cupping her breasts in his palms gently rubbing the already flushed skin tenderly.

"I know Elijah, I trust you completely.". She quavered slightly pressing the hardened nubs of her nipples against his hands again, the soft almost whispering whimpers reaching his ears urged him on.

Her words bolstered his confidence, which it never had to because he knew her trust was paramount, but it was simply her way of telling him how much she knew he would be careful. The smile that curved her lips before she began to nibble down upon the bottom lip in the way he adored said even more.

His strong hands that had just been caressing her body now pushed her down onto the sheets making her squirm just so as he began to growl playfully at the ministrations that were felt against his frame. Thrusting himself against her thigh made her begin to whimper again, this time deeper with need.

"If you keep it up, I may have to tie you down.". He growled lowly, eyes glistening dangerously as he slid down against her pressing his lips against her stomach tasting the skin there gently. Without having to be told her legs slide open against his touch revealing more of her to his eyes, the smirk that is so prevalent against his plump lips widens into a smile. "Someone is wet, aren't they?". He murmured against the curve of her hip allowing his palms to cup the very core of her being, fingers gently sliding into the wetness.

"Please...". Clare shivers against his hands, teeth biting down upon her lower lip tasting the blood that begins to well up against the intrusion. Eli glances up towards Clare's face with eyes unfathomable at her plea and chuckles low.

"Please what? Tell me what You want and then I'll do it." He teased quietly sliding one finger into her finding the very swollen clit, encircling it gently rubbing on the wet skin. Her hips bucked in response to his actions, the tiny mewls coming from her lips the very music he wanted to hear at the moment. When she didn't answer the question his fingers slid deeper into her body marveling at the tightness that surrounded his digits.

"Stop teasing me, it's not fair.". She growled down at him, eyes glittering with need as blues met greens.

He wasn't teasing her and they both knew it, in fact all evening it was Clare whom was the one controlling the teasing. He wasn't about to state that fact to the woman whom laid before him because she would have wanted to argue and right the last thing he wanted to do was have that discussion. His teeth nipped at her hip lightly pulling his fingers from the wet heat that had surrounded them before he slide up against her laying on the bed. Her sheer beauty still took his breath away as he watched her chest rise and fall from the emotions that were probably running like a freight train in her brain.

He reached over towards the table where he'd set the condom earlier and grinned as her eyes tracked his movements. A raven brow arched when her head began to shake in the negative, "No need for that...". She whispered as her fingers found him, one small palm wrapped around his flesh causing him to groan softly against her lips. "Been on the pill for so long that it'll be okay.". She finished with a grin, her hand gently beginning to stoke the length of his cock.

"Now who's teasing,". He growled pulling her hand away from him as his body lined up with hers, gently pushing himself within her quickly causing them both to groan in unison. Muscles beginning to strain slightly as he held himself above her not fully embedding himself within her body, fingers grasping her hips to steady the electrical impulses that shot through both of them with the slightest movement.

Somehow throughout it all he thought his control would be better after all these years, but as soon as he felt the hot, slick skin surround him thoughts went out the door. He began to thrust deep into her body, feeling her muscles spasm against him with each movement. The roaring of blood coursed through his ears almost shutting out the soft, but sweet whimpers that came from within her as they moved together in a quick rhythm not wanting to draw this out, not after this long. He could feel the orgasm beginning to pull through the very fiber of his being. In a few short thrusts they were both on the edge of the great precipice, each struggling to not scream out as the muscles began to twitch and shudder against each other.

They lay entwined for quite awhile afterward, him just listening to her soft little sighs and breaths as his heart began to beat again within an acceptable range just shy of arrhythmia. Emerald eyes glinted in the dim light that fell through the large windows of the bedroom watching her sapphire eyes try to focus on his face ,the shy smile that creeped along her lips made his heart race again.

"You okay there slugger?". She quipped lightly letting one palm press against the muscles of his chest, gently rubbing the skin. His lips brushed against hers gently as he began to chuckle softly at her tone.

"Blue, shut up and enjoy the silence.". He growled playfully pulling her into his arms once again before they both drifted off into slumber content to be with each, at least for tonight.

…...

_**Clare's POV**_

The rosy light of the early morning slid over her face as she began to drift up from slumber a few minutes after dawn. Clare sighed softly as her blue eyes flickered towards where Eli lay curled up within the soft comforter and sheets of the bed making her smile. The lech had woken her up several times that night to show her just how much he had missed her and that surely had given him a deep sleep, unlike her now.

It wasn't that she was going to complain, surely not, but that she was so unused to having someone sleep with her that caused her to wake so early, even for her. In fact, if truth be told, she had never had someone sleep with her regularly since they hadn't lived together in all the time they had dated, with him being in New York and her in Toronto. She could adapt as well as anyway to this new turn of her life, but since they hadn't really had time to discuss what, this was, she would tread carefully until then.

She quietly walked to the large windows in the suite that overlooked the downtown area of the city and smiled watching the sun begin to trickle into the shadows and were created by the towering buildings. Mornings, to her, were the best time to reflect upon what the day will bring or what can be accomplished. Quietly pulling the dress back upon her body she glanced over the room once more with a smile, having enjoyed the evenings ending. This time it would be here leaving the note for him, because now it felt awkward to be here but it wasn't because of him just the place after all of the passion from the hours spent in the bedroom.

"You're getting so squeamish in your old age Clare,". She mumbled to herself quickly penning a note to Eli before she finished dressing. Her fingers trailed along the marble of the bar before making her way to the door of the suite with a smile.


End file.
